After, well, he’d been too shattered to imagine ever being able to function. Love hadn’t been an emotion he’d even considered.
And now?
It was a question that had no answer.
“Vidar’s scared,” he said quietly, turning his attention to his character. “He’s been so careful to hold back, to never let anyone in. Mandy got to him in ways he didn’t expect and now she’s in danger and it’s his fault and he’s screwed.” He stared at Renee. “He doesn’t want to tell her he loves her, he wants to apologize. He wants to make it right and the only way to do that is to save her and her daughter, even if he dies in the process. He’s always willing to save the victim, but this is different. Saving those two redeems him.”
The pieces fell into place and he could see everything that needed to happen. Renee surprised him by smiling, then standing and kissing him on the mouth.
“I’ll see you later,” she said, already walking to the door.
“Where are you going?”
“You have that look I’ve come to recognize. You’re going to tell me that you need just fifteen minutes to get a few thoughts down and then you’ll disappear for three or four hours.” She paused in the doorway. “It’s okay, Jasper. It’s who you are and it’s kind of cute.”
“Rain check?” he asked, already sliding toward his computer.
“Promise.”
He pulled up his word processing program and stared at the screen. After deleting the dialogue he’d written that morning, he started typing.
* * *
JASPER FINISHED THE book about ten Sunday night. He spent two days editing it, then sent it off to both his editor and agent. Wednesday morning he woke up, took Koda on a long hike, then returned to his house to begin the ritual of cleaning out his office before he started thinking about his next project, all the while assuming Sara was going to call and tell him what he’d submitted was total crap and that not only wouldn’t they publish it, they were canceling the rest of his contract and blackballing him from any future publications. Because an undisciplined imagination was a very bad thing.
He’d just finished breakfast when his phone rang. He stared at the 212 number, wondering if his editor was calling about the book, told himself she couldn’t be, and that he would deal regardless, and took the call.
“Hey, Sara.”
“Morning, Jasper.”
“There’s no way you’ve read the book. You’ve only had it since last night.”
“I started it. I was only going to read the first few pages, and here I am, still at my desk. I had to cancel three meetings to keep reading! I’m eighty pages in and I can already tell it’s your best one yet. I love Mandy. She’s fantastic. I’ll admit it—I wasn’t sure you could pull off writing a woman, but you did. She’s smart, she’s funny, she’s caring. I love her daughter. I love how competent she is at her job. The wedding planning behind the scenes is so interesting.” She laughed. “So I’m just going to ask. Who is she?”
Relief eased the tightness in his chest. Maybe his career wasn’t over.
“Who is who?”
“The woman who inspired Mandy. Come on. I know how you work. Real life influences your stories more than it does for most authors. Mandy is an amazing character and I’m guessing she’s based on someone. So who is she?”
Jasper grinned. “Her name is Renee.”
“I knew it!”
“She’s a wedding planner and the big wedding at the end is based on a wedding here in town. I have the bride and groom’s permission to use the details. I’ll send you a copy of the releases they signed.”
Sara sighed. “No way. The Scottish wedding is real? I want to see that.”
“It’s this weekend. Want to fly out?”
“I wish I could. So, about Renee. Tell me about her. Was it love at first sight and then you flew off to Rome?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I want the story to be romantic. That would make me happy.”
“Okay,” he said slowly. “Don’t take this wrong, but when it comes to my personal life, your happiness isn’t that important to me.”
“You’re no fun. But you are wildly in love with her, aren’t you? You have to be. The way you write about her, what else could it be?”
In love with... In love? He went from relieved to freaked in less than a second and he had no idea what to say. He wasn’t in love with anyone. He couldn’t be. He