not,” he managed through an uncomfortable combination of panic, fear and hope. “Things happened. I still have nightmares.”
“You probably always will, but the band that defines normal is pretty wide and you’re well within it. What I mean by this is that while you’ll always have crap from your past to deal with, you’re still emotionally capable of being a functioning member of society. More important, you’re more than ready and completely able to be in a real relationship. One with expectation and commitment and a future. That’s my point here, Jasper. Don’t assume what you have with Renee is like what you had with me. It’s not. It’s so much better and stronger. Don’t blow it by thinking you’ll be able to replace it. You and Renee have something really wonderful going on.”
He wanted to ask how she knew any of this. About him, about him and Renee. He wanted to make her tell him why she would want him to think he was normal when he knew he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. Even his dog thought he had issues.
“You’re wrong,” he said, walking to his truck. “You’re wrong.”
Wynn didn’t try to stop him. It was as if she knew he had to process what she’d said. As if she knew he was running away.
Well, so what? Bolting seemed the most logical next step, he thought as he drove out of the parking lot. Normal. No way. Not him. He was never going to be normal. He was always going to be reclusive and solitary and distant. He was broken—shattered—and he could never be right.
That settled, he made his way up the mountain, concentrating on the road and his breathing and doing his best to ignore the voice in his head that asked What if Wynn was right?
She wasn’t. She couldn’t be. Him healed? Because if he was, if he was at a place where he could be involved with someone in a meaningful way, didn’t that change everything, including how he defined himself? And if she was right, where did that leave him? And assuming he could answer that question, then he had one more to wrestle with. What on earth came next?
* * *
RENEE WAS SURPRISED to find herself just as nervous the morning of the dog wedding as she was on any other day when she had a human wedding going on. Even though the brides and grooms wouldn’t care about the decorations and if things flowed smoothly, she wanted to get it all exactly as it should be.
In deference to the fact that she might be called on to perform different duties at this event, she’d put on black slacks and a black blouse, rather than a dress. She had on flats and she’d pulled her hair back.
By eight forty-five, she’d confirmed the tables were set, the chairs were in place and the flowers had been delivered. By nine, the film crew had arrived to set up, as had the caterers.
Renee introduced herself to Odele, a tall, pretty African American woman with a take-charge attitude that Renee found comforting.
“This is exactly what I pictured,” Odele told her, looking around. “I love it.”
They walked the event, first going through the ceremony—to be performed by an Animal Planet celebrity dog trainer—then moving on to the reception.
“As you requested, we did only a couple of tables out here with the dogs,” Renee said, pointing to the decorated tables. “The rest are inside, away from inquisitive canines.”
“But there’s a dog-friendly cake?”
“Yes, and cookies. There are a dozen or so water dishes around the perimeter of the reception area and I have someone who will be checking them regularly.”
“Good.” Odele scrolled through her tablet. “The pooper-scooper guy will arrive with the dogs.”
“I’m glad you thought of that. I’m not sure I would have,” Renee admitted.
Odele laughed. “I’ve done plenty of dog-based shows. You learn to expect that sort of thing.”
They finalized all the details, then Odele went back to oversee her crew.
Close to ten, her friends started arriving. Not only would they be there to help with anything unexpected, they would also be extras at the wedding and ceremony.
Jasper had texted the previous day to say he couldn’t make the wedding. Renee smiled as she thought of his excuse that he had to work on the book. She suspected he was thinking that a dog wedding could easily get out of hand and wasn’t anything he wanted to be a part of. He was such a guy.