are the dumbest of the dumb. She must be furious with you. Personally I’d hire someone to beat you up and then set you on fire. How could you? And don’t tell me you needed it for the book. Yes, it’s how you make your living, blah, blah, blah. We’re talking about the woman you were sleeping with. We’re talking about a friend. You dismissed her feelings and violated everything she cared about. She let you into her world, she trusted you, and you betrayed that trust and her.”
He opened his mouth to say it wasn’t like that at all, only before he could speak, he realized it was exactly that. He’d done those things and more. He’d acted as if what she thought didn’t matter. He’d treated her badly, then he’d rubbed her nose in it.
“I see the light bulb,” Wynn said.
“I was terrible,” he breathed. “I messed up everything.”
“Yes, you did.”
She opened the door and pushed him into the hallway.
“What are you doing?” he demanded. “We have to talk. You need to tell me what to do to fix this.”
“Sorry. That’s not my problem. I suggest you go home and think about everything you did wrong. Revel in your wrongness and when you feel you understand it fully, wallow just a little more. Only then can you go and apologize to Renee.”
Before he knew what was happening, she’d pushed him out onto the sidewalk and turned and walked away. Jasper stood there, the self-loathing growing by the second. He felt awful and he had no idea what he was supposed to do now.
CHAPTER EIGHT
RENEE HADN’T SEEN Jasper in nearly a week. She’d passed through the stages of grief at least three times and then kept circling back to anger. Probably because it was such an energizing emotion. She was dealing with all her weddings, enjoying her work with only occasional flashes of how much she really disliked him when he surprised her by walking into her office at two in the afternoon.
She glared at him, ignoring the huge bouquet of flowers he placed on her desk. Flowers didn’t come close to making up for what he’d done.
They stared at each other. Renee was determined not to speak first. She might have to deal with him on the Scottish wedding, but she wasn’t going to make it easy. She wondered if it was still possible to have someone tarred and feathered and if so, what that entailed. Could you buy feathers in bulk and did they have to be a certain kind?
“I’m sorry.”
Renee allowed her face to shift from unreadable to disbelieving.
Jasper sat across from her. “Renee, I mean it. I apologize for what I did. I was wrong. You told me you didn’t want me involved in a specific wedding and instead of listening, I went behind your back. I betrayed your trust. I get that.”
“Do you? Or is this where you tell me it was worth it because you have a book to write?”
He drew in a breath. “You told me these are people’s lives. That they’ll remember their weddings forever and I have no right to get involved in that. You were right and I was wrong and I’m sorry.”
“But?”
His gaze locked with hers. “I was wrong.”
She felt the first crack in the emotional wall she’d erected, followed by a second crack and a few bricks tumbling down.
“I’m going to contact Hanna and Graham and tell them I won’t be bothering them anymore.”
“It’s too late to do that. They’re both excited. If you back out now, you’ll disappoint them so I’m stuck and you get what you want.”
He looked a lot more miserable than triumphant, which almost made her feel better. Almost.
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” he said.
“You didn’t care about hurting me.”
“I didn’t, but I do now.” He put his hands on her desk. “For me, writing is capturing the movie I see in my head. It has to be clear to me before I can get it on to the page. When it’s not going well, I’m constantly scrambling to solve the problem and when I get into problem-solving mode—”
“You don’t give up.”
“I don’t.”
“We need a safe word.”
His eyebrows shot up. “We do?”
She did her best to keep from smiling. “Not for that. For when you get too involved in your story. I need a word or a phrase that will remind you to stop being a crazy writer and start being a human being again. I can’t work with you if I