“I don’t get women,” he admitted. “I have this character and I can’t figure her out. I can’t even make her close to real. Why do women do what they do? What are they thinking?”
He got up and closed her office door, then returned to his seat. “That night at The Boardroom. Why me? Why then? I served for eight years and when I got out of the army I was so screwed up in the head. I’ve made my way back a fair amount but we both know I’ll never be normal. I’m okay with that. But you’re not damaged. So why aren’t you with some great guy, popping out babies and living the American Dream?”
She could see he was genuinely confused, which was kind of appealing. Later she would think about how casually he talked about being damaged. According to Wynn, he wasn’t as broken as he thought, but that was for another day.
As for his question about her single status, she wasn’t sure what to say. There were a lot of reasons and many of them had to do with her mother. No way she was going to talk about that. So maybe something safer. And lucky for her, it was the truth.
“I’ve had two serious relationships,” she began. “In college and then a few years later. My last one lasted almost three years. He was a little older, established. Nice. That’s what I liked most about him. He was just plain nice. A thoughtful man who paid attention to the little things.”
“I hate him already.”
She smiled. “Don’t bother. He’s not worth the energy. Things were going great until they weren’t. We were seeing each other regularly, when we could. He traveled. I thought we were in love and mentioned marriage. He said he needed time. He loved me but didn’t see himself committing to one woman for the rest of his life.” Her mouth twisted as she remembered the long talks. “He said if he was ever going to marry someone, it would be me.”
Jasper looked concerned. “Did he cheat?”
“Not in the way you’re thinking.” She sucked in a breath and looked at him. “It turns out he was already married. With three kids. When I found out and confronted him, he admitted he totally adored his wife and his family and had no plans to leave them, but he loved me, too, and hoped we could just go on the way we had been.”
Jasper swore under his breath. “You kicked his ass to the curb.”
“I did. I felt stupid. Did he play me or did I allow myself to be played? And did it really matter?”
She still couldn’t answer that question. She’d taken over a year to come to terms with his deception and her own foolishness. Falling for someone married after the disaster with Turner and their broken engagement, she’d realized love simply wasn’t going to happen for her. Whether it was because she chose the wrong guy or because there was something fundamentally wrong with her, the end result was the same. Relationships ended. Men left—like her dad, Turner. Or they were total losers. Regardless of the how and why, she always found herself alone and shattered. She wasn’t going to do that ever again.
“You weren’t wrong to give your heart,” Jasper told her. “You didn’t know what he was doing. It’s not your fault.”
“I still feel stupid and ashamed. At least I did. Now I’ve moved on. Anyway, that goes in the column of reasons why I’m not married. I take issue with your assuming that a woman has to—” she made air quotes “—be married and pop out babies to be living the American Dream.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I kind of figured that one out on my own. The woman thing is hard. Any suggestions on how to do better?”
She thought for a second. “Movies. Watch movies.” She started writing on a piece of paper. “Two Weeks Notice, Brooklyn, Juno, Steel Magnolias.” She wrote down several others. “These are all strong women in great stories. Watch them, then we’ll talk.”
He took the list and stood. “Thanks, Renee. I appreciate it. I’ll start watching them today.”
Before she could answer, he was gone. Just like that. No offer for a lunchtime quickie or even some idle chitchat.
“You are such a guy,” she murmured, before turning back to her computer. Which, she had to admit to herself, wasn’t really a bad thing at all.