and her father had walked out on her and those kids in high school had treated her like a freak so it made sense that she wasn’t going to accept that Jasper loved her.
Love was not in the cards for her. She’d made that decision and she wasn’t changing her mind now. Her way was safer. Her way made sense. Her way sucked the big one, but life was pain.
She gave herself fifteen more minutes of waiting on her stomach, then got ready for work. No matter how bad she felt, this was the Scottish wedding weekend and she was going to make sure it was magnificent.
She arrived at Weddings Out of the Box in time to confirm the caterer was doing a great job setting up for the rehearsal dinner. After a quick pass to make sure everything put out the previous day was still in place, she retreated to her office to make her phone calls confirming everything from flowers to the cake delivery.
Normally her final to-do list only took her two or three hours, but today she spent most of the morning working through it. She was slightly less nauseous than she had been, but much more emotionally devastated than she’d thought she would be. She could focus for the moment, then she remembered what had happened with Jasper and she got shaky again. She expected her heart to be battered but what was up with her inability to concentrate?
At noon she made sure the setup for the rehearsal dinner was complete. The caterer had also put out the tables for the reception. They would be decorated in the morning. She’d double-checked on all that she could. The cake would be arriving in the next thirty minutes and would be fully assembled by six that evening when it would be locked in the special cake-only refrigerated space. She was just wondering if she could keep down lunch or if she should simply skip the meal when Silver and Wynn arrived.
“Hi,” Renee said, a little surprised to see them. “Everything okay?”
Silver shrugged. “I’m good. How are you doing?”
There was something in her tone. Something... “You know what happened?”
“Jasper stopped by to see Drew and Drew told me when Jasper left. You doing all right?”
“Sure. I mean it’s sad and all, but I’m fine.” Did that sound as normal as she hoped? Not that she was lying—not really. She was feeling all right, or she would be eventually.
Silver glanced at Wynn. Neither of them looked convinced.
“Did you guys have a fight?” Wynn asked.
“There was no fight. Jasper wanted to take things to the next level and I don’t. It’s no big deal.”
“Are you sure? I thought you were pretty happy together.”
“We were. He’s great.”
More than great. She liked being around him. He could be annoying and bossy and determined to get his way, but when she explained the problem, he really got what he’d done and did better the next time. He admitted his flaws, he’d hung out with her mom, he was a fabulous kisser.
And caring, she thought, remembering how he was so considerate of Koda.
“I miss him, of course,” she said, fighting a flood of emotion. “But that will pass.” It had to. Time healed and all that. “I know I’m doing the right thing.”
Wynn shook her head.
“What?” Renee demanded. “You think I should accept what he said? Just like that? Say sure and go for it? Trust him with who I am? What happens when he dumps me? What happens when there are forty-seven reasons why it won’t work? I’m tired of having my heart broken all the time. I won’t go through it again. I won’t and you can’t make me.”
“You’re scared.” Wynn’s voice was soft. “I get that. You’ve had to deal with some stuff in your life and you’re scared and it’s much easier to pretend you don’t want what he’s offering because if you do want it then you can be hurt. You can be broken and there are only so many times you can pick up the pieces.”
Renee fought against tears. “I know and it hurts.” She waited for her friends to hug her.
“Get over yourself,” Wynn told her.
“What?”
“You heard me. Get over yourself. Jasper is a great guy and you’re going to lose him because you’re a coward. Girlfriend, you think you have regrets now? Wait until he’s moved on and you wake up and realize you had a chance with him and now it’s over. He’s done with you