to kiss away. Something held him back. He was looking to her for answers, but in her eyes he saw his own doubt, uncertainty and fear reflected. They’d hurt each other so badly. “We’ve finally got everything out in the open. The question is, where do we go from here?”
Emma bit her lip and looked at him sadly. “Maybe now we can move on with our lives. Separately.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
EMMA AWOKE TO the sound of the birds at dawn. Darcy’s arm was draped across her ribs, and his hand cupped her breast in sleep. She lay still, savoring the hush of early morning in the apartment, the quiet rhythm of Darcy’s breathing.
She turned in his arms and watched him sleeping. With one delicate finger she pushed back a lock of dark hair. How on earth was she going to leave him? Last night their lovemaking had been silent and tender and sweet, as if they were saying goodbye with their bodies.
Every cell in her screamed to stay, to take his offer to try again. Probably they could make it work as a platonic, friends-with-benefits relationship with the added bonus of sharing a love of their son. But having known passion with him during marriage, she wasn’t content to build another union on such a lukewarm foundation, with all the attendant uncertainty surrounding their feelings for each other. In some ways, negative emotions had bound them together as much as they’d torn them apart. If they ever were to start fresh, they needed to start on a positive note.
It was time to start afresh. To see what kind of woman she was without the crippling burden of grief and guilt she’d carried with her for so long.
Quietly she slipped out of bed, pulled on a dressing gown and went into Billy’s room. He was lying on his back, eyes wide-open, gazing up at the mobile of colorful parrots.
“Hey, Billy,” she said softly.
He smiled and wriggled his body, looking as delighted to see her as she was to see him. Emma picked him up and cuddled him, loving his warm wriggly body and his soft baby scent. “Come on. It’s time we went home.”
Two hours later she was packed and ready to go. She went to tell Darcy, who’d just woken up.
“It’s early.” Darcy dragged on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. “Stay and have breakfast.”
“Thanks, but no.” Her suitcases were piled in the hallway. The cot was broken down and Billy’s high chair and other paraphernalia lined up next to it. Now that she was ready she wanted to get going before she lost her resolve and agreed to stay longer. Or forever.
But ever since her confession, while Darcy had been sympathetic and comforting, he hadn’t asked her to stay. She’d blamed him for Holly’s death all this time as a way of covering her own guilt. Why would he want to be with her now that he knew the truth about her?
“I’ll be in touch about setting up regular times for me to see Billy,” Darcy said.
There it was, confirmation, if she needed it, that he’d changed his mind about trying again. Last night’s lovemaking was for old time’s sake, a punctuation mark at the end of a long and sometimes tortuous story.
“I’ll email you my work and university schedule. We’ll sort something out.” At least her son would have a father, even if he didn’t have the traditional two-parent family. She would have to be content with that.
Darcy surveyed the luggage and furniture. “Gary’s coming this morning. I’ll bring your stuff around in the truck later.”
“I’d appreciate that.” Oh, God, this was hard. They were so stiff and formal with each other. “Good luck with the renovations. If there’s anything else I can do to help, just ask.”
“You’ve got your plate full, too. But thanks for choosing the paint and fabrics.” His gaze fell on Billy in her arms and pain and love washed across his face. “Can I hold him one more time before you go?”
“Of course.” It almost broke her heart to see Billy snuggle into Darcy’s shoulder and the tender, gentle way Darcy stroked his son’s head and whispered secrets in his ear. She stood close, wishing she could enclose the three of them in a group hug. But that seemed going too far.
All the way down the stairs and out through the back of the pub she chatted about the lovely weather and Darcy’s father in the hospital and her parents in Broome and Alana’s