been born. I’m a bad mother. I’ve tried to change but the harder I try, the worse everything gets. I don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t think you’re a bad mother.” Darcy stroked his jaw, frowning. “But I don’t know how to fix this. Reading a few baby books hasn’t made me an expert.”
“Oh, Darcy,” she said wearily. “It’s not something you can fix. It just is. Don’t worry. I’m going to take care of him. You won’t be encumbered with me and Billy forever. Once I’m well and your decorating scheme is sorted out, I’ll be on my way.” She wiped her eyes with the edge of the coverlet. “Sorry. Have you got a tissue?”
He handed her the box from the dresser, his expression troubled. Darcy liked things to be light and happy. He wasn’t good with darker emotions. She wished now she hadn’t burdened him, or made herself vulnerable. He was being really nice about taking care of her and Billy, but he didn’t want to be flung into that well of pain again, either. She would see it in the wariness in his eyes.
She stuck her baby finger in the corner of Billy’s mouth to break the seal then transferred him to the other breast. “You seem to have bonded with him. What happened? What made you change your mind about Billy?”
“I haven’t changed my mind about anything, but someone has to change him and feed him while you’re out of commission. I saw the way you were with him...not present emotionally. I realized that someone had to be. It’s only a stopgap until you come back online.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” It was only a tiny step forward, but the implications were huge. Darcy had acknowledged that they both shared responsibility for their son’s well-being. It took a burden off Emma and strengthened the fragile connection between her and Darcy, and between Darcy and his son.
“He’s asleep,” Emma whispered. Billy’s mouth had come away from her nipple. Somehow she hadn’t noticed the pain so much with Darcy there.
“I’ll put him in his cot.” As Darcy bent over to carefully gather him up, his hair brushed her cheek and she inhaled his scent. His face was close to her bare breast and the glistening nipple. Awareness thrummed through her. He hesitated then put his mouth around her nipple and gave one gentle suck.
Oh, oh, oh. It was a cheeky thing to do. But tender and erotic at the same time. The sensation was electric, shooting down mysterious pathways straight to her core. She wanted to push her fingers into his hair and drag him back down for a kiss.
But there was a little something between them. And he was starting to stir. Darcy straightened with Billy in his arms, his gaze somehow both sheepish and ardent as he rocked the baby back to sleep. “Sorry. Impulse.”
Feeling her cheeks heat, she pulled her top down. “We should talk about colors.”
“I’ll put him to bed and get the swatches from my office.” Darcy took Billy into the next room. A moment later she heard him going down the internal staircase that led to his office. He returned quickly, his arms laden with samples. He spread them out over the coverlet and sprawled across the end of the bed.
Emma played with fabric and paint samples, matching colors and textures. “Deep coral walls would brighten up the place and go well with the wooden bar and trim.”
“Coral?” Darcy groaned. “That’s so girlie.”
“Pale pink would be girly. Coral is warm and inviting, modern but not cold. And a lot lighter than the wood paneling.”
“Don’t forget there’s going to be a garden room. That will brighten the place.”
“About that...don’t you think you should accomplish this in smaller chunks? Do a little bit at a time, keep the work and the costs under control.”
“That’s your way. You want every tiny step perfected before you move on to the next tiny step. It makes more sense to me to do the whole thing at once. Get it all out of the way so I can start fresh.”
“Yes, but will you actually do it? Doing it your way it’s easier to put things off because the bites are too big to chew. You can do a lot with simple cosmetic changes.”
“Structural first. It’s logical.” The way he said logical was deliberately provocative, as if logic was the male province. Which was a joke because they both knew who was the logical one, and it wasn’t him.