make her hackles stand up, those were the ones. Her whole life was predicated on her ability to cope. But the seeping warmth from his fingers was doing something subversive to her desire to stand on her own two feet. Being looked after was seductive. And that was dangerous.
When she was sick and unable to do more than lie in bed she hadn’t thought of Darcy as a man. Now that she was starting to feel better, she was aware of him physically, of his shoulders and his mouth and his dark eyes that always seemed to be smiling at some inside joke.
And she was sleeping in their old bed, a place of a million memories of tenderness and passion. One night, in a moment of weakness and the loneliness that had never gone away, would she be tempted to invite him to share it with her? Just once, for old time’s sake. Yeah, they’d seen how well that worked out on the cruise.
She tugged her hand out from under his and cool air wafted over her skin. “Thank you, Darcy, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
The question, put point-blank, was impossible to answer. Because I’m still attracted to you and I don’t want to be. I can’t risk falling for you again. You don’t want to be my husband, and despite the fun you have with Billy, you don’t really want to be a father to our child.
“My books and laptop are at my apartment.”
“No, they’re not. I brought them when I moved you in.”
She sat back, stymied. “I’m taking up your bedroom. You can’t be comfortable on the couch.”
“It’s no big deal. Maybe you’re forgetting how long and wide the couch is.” One corner of his mouth quirked up. “How firm the cushions. Great support.”
Her cheeks heated at the oblique reminder of the many times they’d made love on that piece of furniture.
“And,” Darcy continued, “I’m still hoping you can help me out with the color scheme for the pub.”
“You don’t need me to be on-site for that.”
Billy started to fuss. Darcy unzipped the carrier and pulled him out. “Okay, buddy. Want to go see your mum?”
Emma had no choice but to take the baby. She felt herself tense up when the small solid body landed in her lap. Immediately she held him up at arm’s length. “Hello, little man. Have you been a good boy for your daddy?”
She glanced up to see Darcy watching her, an odd quizzical expression on his face. Had he noticed her coolness toward Billy? Could he tell she was only going through the motions, that the warmth in her voice when she spoke to her son was fake? Her mothering ability was on display—and wanting. She hoped Darcy put it down to the lingering effects of her pneumonia. After the way she’d pestered him to have another baby he would be shocked to know that now she wondered if she’d done the right thing in having Billy. And how rotten did that make her feel?
She sat Billy on her knee and faced him toward the table where he could bat at a toy Darcy had left lying there. “Tell me more about your plans for the pub.”
“My father gave me architect’s drawings of how this place was supposed to be built originally. It has a kitchen and a garden room. Kind of like a beer garden but enclosed in glass so it’s usable all year round.”
“Sounds amazing. Why have we never heard of or seen these plans before?”
“Dad shelved them. Thought it was too much trouble I guess. But now that the wine bar is making inroads on my business—”
“Is it that bad?”
“Nothing I can’t bounce back from. But this is a good excuse to give the place a facelift. New carpets, furniture, paint, the works.”
“That’s a great idea. The pub is so dark and gloomy.”
“You mean warm and cozy.”
“Whatever. Bright colors and better lighting would be a big improvement.”
“So you’ll stay and help me choose a color scheme and fabrics and paint?”
“I’d be happy to help.”
And happy to stay a little longer, if she was honest. She was much better, but the thought of facing her messy apartment, of caring for Billy all by herself again was daunting. Oh, she knew this was only temporary until she felt strong enough to deal with life and her feelings—or lack of them—for Billy. But for now Darcy’s offer was a lifeline.
Not because she didn’t love her baby enough, but because