her car. He sat and slid her keys across the scarred wood table. “How are you feeling?”
She slanted him a wry look over her mug. “As big as an elephant.” His sheepishness must have shown because she smiled. “I appreciate the thought behind the card.” She pressed a hand to her chest and stifled a burp. “I didn’t think you would mark the occasion.”
“You’re still my friend, Emma.” And the mother of his child. Children. “Have you been eating spicy food?”
“Buffalo wings.” She groaned. “I know they’re bad for me but I can’t help myself.”
“So the food wasn’t very good?” he asked hopefully.
“It was fantastic. They had all these different types of tapas, all free. Chorizo sausage—” she burped again “—frittata, shrimp fritters, patatas bravas, artichokes with jamon.”
“Naturally you had to try them all.”
“I am eating for two. Spicy tapas aside, the heartburn seems worse this time around. I never had this much trouble when I was pregnant with Holly.”
“Oh? Remember the time we drove up the coast highway to Byron Bay and we stopped for fish and chips?”
Her face lit at the memory of the trip they’d taken when Emma was four months pregnant with Holly. They’d been young and deliriously happy, eating their simple meal on the beach while the sun set. They’d talked till the stars came out, planning their baby’s future. Later, they’d made love in the tent to the soft shush of the waves lapping the sand.
Emma’s smile faded, as if she was now remembering all the bad stuff that had happened since then. “You’re right. I got indigestion pretty bad that night.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Is everything going okay with you and the baby?”
“Fine. Everything’s fine.”
“You look tired.”
“I’m always tired these days. But honestly, I’m fine.” She grimaced again and pressed a hand to the top of her round belly.
“That heartburn must be bad.”
“It’s not that. She’s kicking. Ow. Right under the rib cage. Thanks Ivy.”
“You’ve named her Ivy. Do you know it’s a girl?” She’d named her without his input. That made him feel strange...and kind of uncomfortable to have that taken away from him. But he’d made his decision. He couldn’t have it both ways.
“Ow. Yup. I haven’t had any tests, but I’m pretty positive she’s a girl. And a feisty little thing.”
So Emma was going by intuition. Or was that wishful thinking, a desire to turn back time and have a little girl again? As Darcy watched the material over her baby bump rippled. What would it be like to press his palm against the hard curve of her belly and feel the baby moving beneath her skin? His baby.
“Do you want to feel?” Emma asked.
Yes. No. I don’t know.
“Nah, that’s okay.” He clenched his fist in his lap, resisting the urge to reach out. There was no point getting attached to this kid, since he wouldn’t be part of its life. Emma and the baby were a unit, the same way she and Holly had been. He was on the outside, as usual. This time, though, he had the sense to know that was for the best.
“I’ve been adding to the baby’s college fund. After it’s born I’ll pay a fortnightly sum straight into your bank account. You need to give me your account details soon.” He glanced over her stomach. “It’s not that far away, right?”
“A month and a half. But Darcy—”
“I’ll let my parents know, too. Birthday, Christmas, if anyone can’t think of a present for the baby—”
“Darcy! Slow down and listen for a change. Why are you doing this? Do you think you can let yourself off the daddy hook by throwing money at the baby?”
“According to you, I’m not on any hook.”
“You’re not. But I know you and your sense of responsibility. How can I convince you that the baby and I don’t need you?” She covered her face with her hands. “I don’t mean that the way it sounded, ungrateful and harsh. But you don’t want another child. And I don’t want you to feel obligated in any way.”
“Emma, I know you. You have this need to prove you can be a supermum, able to do it all and then some. You think you have to be perfect. You don’t. Let me help. I can be like a...a silent partner.”
“I don’t want a silent partner. It’s all or nothing. And I know you can’t give me and the baby your all, so it has to be nothing.”