of the bank details in the morning.” Then he got up and walked away while he could still stand.
CHAPTER FOUR
EMMA JUGGLED SHOPPING bags full of baby things and the mail she’d collected from her box in the foyer and inserted the key to unlock her apartment door. After a nine-hour shift, then the mall, she was dying to shower, eat and put her feet up, not necessarily in that order.
She passed through the entry hall and into the small living room filled with inexpensive furniture she’d bought after the divorce. She hadn’t wanted anything from the old house, no reminders of the love and family and home she’d lost. Darcy had taken the beautiful red leather couch and chairs, the handmade teak coffee table and other unique pieces they’d collected together, and crammed them into his two-bedroom apartment above the pub. The pine coffee table and hard-wearing fabric couches she owned now held no memories and if she occasionally missed her old stuff, too bad. She needed to toughen up.
She sank onto the couch with her head on a cushion and her feet on the opposite arm and leafed through her mail. It felt good to lie down for a minute. She’d forgotten how pregnancy sapped her of energy.
The Monash University School of Nursing logo stared at her from the top left corner of an envelope. She tore it open. Her application had probably been rejected. After all, she’d already started it once, before she’d gotten pregnant with Holly, and quit. Having pulled out then might go against her now. And she’d applied late. Maybe the program was already full.
But she hoped not. She was counting on this extra degree to help her provide a good future for her and her baby. She quickly scanned the single typewritten sheet. Dear Ms. Lewis, yada, yada...
Approved.
She blinked and looked again, making sure she’d seen right, then grinned. Yes! She was in. It was all happening. The master’s, the baby. Everything she wanted was coming true for her.
Her smile faded. Not everything. Her marriage had fallen apart. She’d totally screwed up by getting pregnant with her ex-husband. Darcy didn’t want anything to do with her or the baby. When she’d told him she was pregnant he’d looked as if he might throw up. Then he’d stood and walked away from her and hadn’t come back.
Something had died inside her then, a tendril of hope she hadn’t even realized she’d been hanging on to. Even though it was what she’d expected, his reaction still hurt. Money was all he was willing or able to give. Nothing of himself, no love for his own baby, no warmth for her, the mother of his child.
Well, she didn’t want him. By his own admission and from her experience, he wasn’t husband and father material. He could be, if he wanted to be. He simply didn’t care about family as much as she did. Heat pricked the backs of her eyes and she pressed her fingers to them. Damn him. She’d thought she was beyond being hurt by him.
And how about his suggestion that she’d gotten pregnant on purpose? How insulting was that? Had he forgotten how quickly she’d become pregnant with Holly? She was obviously very fertile and his sperm so virile they’d done the backstroke up her vagina like mini champion athletes. On the cruise he was the one who’d started intercourse without a condom, assuming she still had an IUD.
Maybe she should have made it clear the second they’d entered his cabin that she didn’t, but she’d expected he would automatically reach for protection. They were too old to be carried away by the moment. But that’s what had happened. One thing hadn’t changed—the attraction between them. But a relationship couldn’t thrive on sex alone.
Bottom line, she was on her own. It might not be the way she wanted it but it was what she had to work with. She had to be practical not emotional, for the baby’s sake.
First thing Monday morning she would contact the School of Nursing and confirm her place in the program, look at the course requirements and find out times, etcetera. Then she’d talk to the hospital about managing her hours around her classes. She didn’t envisage any problem there. Barb was high up in administration, and besides being her friend, she was always encouraging the nursing staff to upgrade their qualifications.
Her stomach rumbled. Her meal of chicken salad at the food court was two hours ago. Another thing