around the deck. Fortunately Tracey had hooked up with someone that night and hadn’t been in their cabin when she’d returned in the wee hours, upset. “We...kissed. That’s all.”
“Really?” Tracey said skeptically. “All that stuff you told me about how you couldn’t stand him? When I saw you dancing I didn’t believe it. I thought for sure you would get back together. You two were smoking hot.”
“Not getting back together,” Emma said firmly. “We had a great time on the dance floor but that’s all we have in common anymore.”
That was possibly not true. They might have conceived another baby. She would love that. They’d made one beautiful child, Holly, together and when they’d been married she’d hoped she and Darcy would have several more kids. Even if they weren’t together now, she had no problem bearing his child. Once upon a time she’d loved him with her whole being and even though she knew those days were gone forever, if she couldn’t have him, having his baby would be the next best thing.
Darcy wouldn’t be happy, though. Huh! Not happy? That was putting it mildly. He would freaking stroke out. Oh, God, what if he wanted her to get rid of it?
She couldn’t. She just couldn’t. And she would tell him so in no uncertain terms. He couldn’t force her—
Stop. There was no point in going up and down on this emotional roller coaster until she knew for sure if she was pregnant. She needed to know now or she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on her work.
“You know, I do feel a bit under the weather.” She lifted the watch pinned to her blue scrubs top. “It’s time for my break. I’ll go lie down in the on-call room for a bit.”
Before Tracey could quiz her further she hurried around the corner to the supply room. Once inside, she shut the door and scanned the shelves. Every ward had pregnancy test kits. Nurses administered them when patients were not sure and had to take medications that might be contraindicated.
She grabbed a kit, stuffed it into her purse and hurried to the washroom. A few minutes later she sat on the closed toilet lid clutching the test strip. A thin blue line had formed. A half sob emerged. She was going to have a baby.
But—
Her arm wrapped protectively around her waist. The situation was far from ideal. She’d hoped that after her divorce she would meet a man she could build a relationship with, someone who would want a child as much as she did. Instead she’d gotten pregnant by Darcy, who didn’t want children, and was the one man she could never have a relationship with again.
Darcy’s reaction was his problem. And yes, she’d wanted to marry again but sometimes things didn’t work out the way you planned. The main thing was, she was having a child. Maybe it was better that she was single. That way she wouldn’t have to deal with a potential husband’s opposing ideas about child rearing. This time she would be in complete control. She would be able to do everything right, take no chances.
She was prepared to raise the kid on her own. That wasn’t a problem. Did she have to tell Darcy? Wouldn’t she be doing him a favor by keeping him in the dark? No guilt, no responsibilities...that seemed to be the life he wanted.
She didn’t need his help. As a nurse she had decent pay and conditions. She would get a year’s maternity leave on half pay. Less money but more time to care for the baby. Juggling university with work and a baby might be tricky but having the master’s degree would give her a better future as a single mother. There was a lot to think about but it was exciting rather than daunting. She liked working out logistics and practicalities, especially for such a wonderful reason.
Her smile bubbled to the surface. Suddenly she felt like celebrating. She exited the cubicle and pushed the test kit deep into the rubbish bin.
At the nurses’ station, Tracey glanced up, clearly surprised at seeing her back so soon. “I thought you weren’t feeling well.”
“I’m okay. I’ve decided I’d rather have dinner with you and the girls instead of going on a date.”
“Great, I’ll round up the others.” Tracey reached for the phone.
She listened to Tracey explaining to Barb and Sasha. She was grateful for her friends, for the fact they hadn’t given up on her even when she was unsociable