lawn was green. My herb and vegetable garden was coming along nicely thanks to Ember watering it while I was away, and the two deck chairs on the grass had a small plastic table between them.
Light emanated from inside the house, so I left the outside lights off. I had a feeling we’d both want a little privacy during the conversation we were about to have.
“Take turns?” my brother suggested after we sat down.
I nodded. “Me first.”
“I can agree to that,” he grumbled. “As long as you promise to let me say what I need to without interrupting.”
“I’ll do my best,” I promised. “You know my first question already, so out with it. Why haven’t I heard from you?”
He blew out a breath, his eyes on the horizon as he answered. “You’ve always had everything so together. I’m not blaming you at all. I admire you for it actually. It just wasn’t always easy to measure up.”
“I never meant to make you feel that way,” I said, my voice soft. I didn’t argue with him, though. He was finally telling me how he felt and giving me a reason for the distance between us. Nothing I could say could change the way I’d made him feel—whether it’d been my intention or not.
“I know.” His hand reached across the chasm between us to squeeze my arm. “It was never about you. You didn’t do anything wrong. You ate up a lot more shit from me than I ever should’ve given you.”
I didn’t say anything, silently willing him to continue. When he did, I let out a small sound of relief. “I needed time to figure out who I was without you always defending me, or fixing it for me, or trying to help. Like I said. I needed to get my shit together so I could stop being a burden.”
“You were never a burden,” I said fiercely. “Never. If I made you feel like you were—”
“No. You never made me feel like I was. I just knew that I was. Deep down, every time I fucked up, I felt like I’d let you down. I believe our deal was taking turns, though. It’s your turn.”
The words reminded me of Jaxon saying the exact same thing not too long ago, and the whole sad story came spilling out of me in one long rush of words. Ethan didn’t interrupt, chuckling when I came to what had happened with him in my office.
“That’s quite the fucking story. I assume this fake husband of yours is the reason for the music?”
“Yep.” If nothing else, I was a creature of habit. I’d discovered the classics like Edith Piaf years ago, and I’d never stopped listening to the woman who was my personal goddess. “I’m so screwed. If I fire him, I’ll be carrying out a personal vendetta, but if I don’t, I’ll have to live with the knowledge that we work for the same company. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to concentrate again.”
“You’ve always had a bleeding heart, Linds. Even when people have upset you. It’s what makes you you. It’s one of the qualities I love most about you. If it wasn’t for that, you’d have shut the door in my face when I showed up out of the blue after so many years.”
“It makes me weak.” I ground my teeth. “Not with you, obviously. You’re my blood and my best friend, but with him? It’s a weakness.”
He sat up and swung his legs to my side of my chair, his face serious when he lifted his gaze to mine. “Weak? No, Linds. You’ve got it all wrong. It’s what makes you strong. The capacity for forgiveness over petty vengeance? The ability to do the right thing even if it’s the most difficult thing to do? Resilience so remarkable you can overcome anything? There aren’t many people who can truly say they’ve got any of that, and you, my dear sister, have it in spades.”
If he kept it up, I was going to start crying again. Not because he was complimenting me, but because after all these years, my little brother still believed in me. And if he could do it, so could I.
Chapter 34
JAXON
Mom sat in stunned silence for at least five whole minutes after I told her about my meeting with Lindsay. Eventually, a wide smile broke out across her face and she leaned back in the armchair she’d favored since I was born.