I was anywhere near Jaxon though, my brain was malfunctioning. No matter what he’d done to me, that humming electricity was still present between us. Especially when neither one of us was willing to look away.
A long minute, or maybe more, passed before he thrust his chin up, shook his head, and turned on his heels. There was a distinct frustration in the sharp, almost robotic movements of his body, but that wasn’t my problem.
I knew he’d seen how hurt I was while he looked at me. There was no way I’d have been able to hide it from him when he stared at me like he was peering right into my heart, and he still hadn’t said anything. Still hadn’t acknowledged it in any way.
Gripping the door handle so hard his fingers turned white, he paused for a second without turning back to me. His shoulders rose like he’d sucked in a deep breath, and when they fell, he twisted the handle and strode out of my office with his spine rigid.
I brought my fist to my mouth, and my eyes narrowed as I let out a silent scream. The door slammed shut behind him, and just like that, Jaxon was gone again.
The fresh, masculine scent of him permeated the air like he’d left it behind on purpose to be a painful reminder of all the times I’d breathed him in. The very oxygen I was breathing was now tainted by him.
Asshole.
My heart was going crazy, my blood pounding in my ears. I felt like I’d been hit with a battering ram in the stomach, and my arms shook when I wrapped them around my torso. I knew I wasn’t literally about to fall apart, but I still felt the need to hold myself together.
I have to calm down.
I’d never gotten this upset in the office, and I wasn’t about to start now.
A soft click when my door opened sent my pulse into a frenzy again, only to hit rock bottom when Anna walked in.
Stop it, body. We didn’t want it to be Jaxon anyway. Stop reacting like we’re disappointed it’s not.
I turned to face the window to hide the expression I was undoubtedly wearing, but it was too late. The sound of Anna’s heels clicking against the tiles stopped abruptly, and there was a brief awkward pause.
“Lindsay? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Alarm rang out in her tone. “Let me alert security. Hang on a second.”
Before she could leave, I swiped my fingers under my eyes and shook my head. “No. That won’t be necessary. It’s not what you think. There’s no need to get security involved.”
My voice was strained, but at least I’d stopped her from calling in even more people to witness my emotional wobble. I cleared my throat and walked back to my desk slowly, moving like I was in physical pain.
“Did you need something?”
Confusion and uncertainty flashed in her eyes before she shook her head. “No, uh, I just wanted to find out if you wanted to do the progress report for his manager. We can do it later.”
Fuck.
I’d forgotten all about that. “There’s nothing to report at this time. I’ll have to investigate further and update them when I’m done.”
Her brow creased. “I’ve been looking at the manual, and it says that after every meeting, we have to—”
“I know what the manual says,” I snapped at her. “I wrote it. I just need some time.”
Once again, a tsunami of guilt slammed into me and I softened my features. “I’m sorry, Anna. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I’m just… it’s a personal matter. I’m going out for lunch early. When I come back, we’ll get into the rest of the day.”
I hadn’t been planning on going out, but now I couldn’t stay in here for another minute. I needed fresh air—air that didn’t still have his presence lingering in it. Gathering up my things, I stood up and slung my purse over my shoulder.
“I’ll see you in an hour or so.” I managed a small smile before giving her a curt nod of my head, leaving her standing in the middle of my office.
On my way out of the building, I fished my phone out of my purse and texted Ember. My friend lived for early, long lunches and she somehow always made it work.
Before I even reached the parking lot, she replied with a string of grinning emojis and sent me the name of a restaurant I hadn’t