who put on your damn lingerie and walked out of that room.”
While she spoke, my spine straightened out and some of those doubts I’d been having about myself melted away. “You’re right.”
“Of course, I am.” She broke out into a wide grin. “It’s okay to miss him, Linds. As much as I really believe it made it easier for you that he left without a long drawn-out goodbye and promises being made that neither of you would know if you could keep, it’s also normal to feel like there’s some unfinished business there.”
“So how do I get over him?” It didn’t escape my notice that Will was no longer coming up in the conversation at all.
While I was still not happy about the fact that he walked out without even telling me he was calling off the wedding, I couldn’t help but be grateful that he had called it off. If there was one thing this week had shown me, it was that marrying him would’ve been an even bigger mistake than trusting Jaxon had been.
In fact, if I ever saw my ex again, I might even buy him a beer to thank him. Then we’d also have to have a conversation about the polite, decent way to go about letting someone know you were leaving them.
Ember, meanwhile, was still pondering my earlier question. “You’re going back to work tomorrow, right? Maybe that will be a good distraction while you figure out how to get over him. It’s not like I can suggest getting under someone else to get over him, seeing as how he was the someone else you got under.”
Her eyes shone with humor over her joke, and I couldn’t hold back a tiny burst of laughter even as I smacked her arm. “That wasn’t what I was doing and you know it. Be that as it may, I do have to go back to work and I’ll probably have to spend the next week going over the shitload of messages I missed. So yeah, it will definitely be a good distraction.”
Hopefully.
“You can’t even pretend to complain about having to go back through so many messages. I know how much you love your job. There’s no point trying to hide it from me.”
“I’m not trying to. I love that I have to go back. I really need it. I just…” I didn’t even know anymore.
Ember, as it turned out, did know. “You just need some time to process everything that’s happened and to try to put your vacation romance behind you.”
“That’s exactly it.” I needed to get to a point where I didn’t automatically reach for his hand when a thought hit me, and when I didn’t keep expecting to feel him slinging his arm around my shoulders or tugging me against his warm chest from behind. “I need to figure out how to close my eyes without seeing his.”
“How about we replace some of those images of him with people being murdered on screen? Would that make you feel better?”
“Yes.” Watching some violent movies might ease the urge I had to look him up only so I could punch him right in his handsome face. It would probably end up hurting me more than it did him, but I’d taken some self-defense classes. I was eighty-percent sure I wouldn’t break my thumb if I tried it.
Ember hopped off the couch to grab the remote and more ice cream, and we spent the rest of the day talking and watching movies. Ultimately, I still wished things had ended differently with Jaxon.
If I’d just had the closure of having spoken to him before we left, like I’d been planning on doing, I felt like there wouldn’t be this huge, gaping wound in my chest. Even if he’d shot me down when I suggested we try a real relationship, at least I would’ve known where we’d been standing all along.
Instead, I just felt hurt and confused.
Jaxon was exactly what I’d needed out of that trip, but he’d still left me all cut up inside. It was less than ideal, and if I ever saw him again, he was definitely not also getting a thank-you beer from me.
Chapter 28
JAXON
“When is the person in charge of that part of the department getting back then?” I barked into the phone while I parked in front of my mother’s house. “This is the third time I’m being told they’re not available.”
The annoying voice at the other end of the line belonged to an assistant