The Matter of a Marquess - Jess Michaels Page 0,67
out in you. I see the rest of us in you in this moment. The part of you that you hate.”
His lips parted. “I-I don’t hate the blood I share with you. Though I do hate our father right now.”
“I hate our father every day,” Robert said with such calm even though the truth of it rippled through his expression for a moment, dark and terrible. “I hate him so much I hardly even notice that the feeling is there anymore. I lived with him. He focused his attention, when he could tear it away from whoring around England, on me. I will tell you he was a horrific person who destroyed many lives on a whim.”
“My mother,” Nicholas whispered.
The other two men stiffened when he did so. His mother had been dead a long time, fifteen years now. He rarely spoke of her because it still stung that she was gone. She’d been a servant in Roseford’s home. He’d taken advantage of her, against her will, and thrown her into the street. It was only Aurora’s mother who had saved her as she swelled with child, giving her a position despite her lack of reference.
And Bertrand Gillingham, man of affairs, who had settled her and claimed her son as his own. Loved Nicholas as his own. Nicholas had been lucky in that. Selina and Morgan had suffered far more in their families of upbringing.
“Your mother was the worst of what that fiend did in his wretched life,” Robert choked out, and for a moment that rage he seemed to be accustomed to containing flared higher. “Still, it doesn’t shock me that he turned on you when you didn’t give him what he wanted. That doesn’t mean you’re helpless in this.”
“I agree,” Derrick said. “As angry as you may be at the past, you aren’t out of control now. As you said a moment ago, the duke is dead, the earl is dead. And the barriers of belief that kept you from Aurora are gone too. You know she didn’t leave you for a better prospect, as you believed all these years. She was manipulated.”
“You have a rare gift,” Robert said. “A second chance. I know a little about that.”
Nicholas stared at him, his brow wrinkling. “With Katherine?” He heard the incredulity in his tone.
“Oh yes,” Robert said softly. “I hurt her once. Unlike you, it wasn’t manipulated by others. I did it because I was dangerously close to walking the exact same path as our demon of a father. But when the opportunity arose, I knew I couldn’t lose her again. And I was lucky enough to earn the opportunity to love her for the rest of her life.”
Nicholas swallowed. “You two are so happy. I never would have thought…”
Robert shrugged. “Happiness isn’t a gift, my friend. It looks like it. It feels like it sometimes, but when it comes to love, it is a decision one makes every day. I wake up with the clear thought that I’m going to do whatever I need to do to make Katherine’s life better. That I’m going to act in a way that never makes her regret surrendering her heart. Love is a choice and a vocation.”
Derrick nodded. “It is.”
Robert smiled at him briefly before he turned his attention back to Nicholas. “I’ve watched you with Aurora since the party began. I’ve seen her connect with our friends. I’ve seen what a light she could be to our lives, to yours. I’ve seen her connect with you.”
“I’ve seen the same,” Derrick agreed. “Even Selina, who is protective of you to a fault and wants so desperately to hate Aurora for the crimes it’s evident she didn’t actually commit…likes her. She likes what you are when you two are together. And so do I. I’ve watched you suffer firsthand, my friend. When I see you happy, it’s something I hope you’re brave enough to grab on to and never let go.”
“I suppose that is the ultimate question, and it’s one only you can answer: what do you want?” Robert asked.
Nicholas flinched because the only answer that came zinging clear and loud through his mind was…
“Her,” he said so softly it almost didn’t carry even though it was a scream echoing in his mind. “It’s always been her.”
The other two men smiled at him, as if they’d already known. Certainly they approved, given the discussion they’d just shared. Derrick’s smile wavered just a fraction, though. When Nicholas tilted his head in expectation, Derrick