The Matter of a Marquess - Jess Michaels Page 0,59

down over the group below, his family of blood, half or not, his friends new and old, Aurora…he was beginning to doubt himself. Doubt everything.

“Come, we’ve jawed enough,” Graham said, clapping a hand on Nicholas’s shoulder. “They’ll start calling for us if we don’t join them.”

They fell into step again down the hill. But as they reached the others, Nicholas turned toward him. “I—thank you, Your Grace. You gave me a great deal to ponder.”

“Of course,” Graham said with another of those friendly smiles. “And for God’s sake, call me by my first name. Brothers only use titles in public or when they’re giving each other endless shit.”

With that, he moved off to the blanket, to his wife, whom he kissed without any seeming care of who was around. And then he fell into a conversation with Aurora with the same seamless, effortless kindness he had exhibited with Nicholas.

Nicholas sighed as he moved off to be closer to Selina and Derrick and settled himself slowly on the blanket, straightening his leg out with relief. As he massaged the muscle, his mind raced. He’d planned his life one way and had it torn apart, planned it another and the same had happened, this time with blood and fire. And now he was on the precipice of the third grand plan of his adult life and he questioned it all.

Questions he’d have to answer eventually. Questions he needed to ask before he could truly move on.

Aurora was laughing as she entered the house with Lizzie and the Duchess of Northfield, who kept insisting on being called Adelaide. The three of them were the last to return from the picnic that afternoon, because they had stopped to examine Roseford’s garden as the rest returned to the house. Lizzie knew everything about a garden. She’d even promised to come to Aurora’s little house in London and help her plant and prune the wilderness currently behind her home.

She felt so welcomed and cared for in this group. Even Selina Huntington, Nicholas’s sister and the one who seemed to have the most hesitation about Aurora, had been kind all day. Aurora hadn’t felt so relaxed and uninhibited since…

Well, since before her marriage, that was certain. Back when she was planning a life with her best friend and greatest love. A man who had not quite avoided her all day, but certainly hadn’t made an effort to join her, despite saying how much he wanted her there with him.

She had no idea where they stood, even though the distance had allowed her to observe him. Observe the careful ways he adjusted himself for his injuries. Observe the connections he was building with his family. Observe how remarkable he was, even more now that the years had given him experience and strength.

“I should go up,” Adelaide said as they stepped into the house. “We have a few hours before supper preparations will have to be made.”

“Yes, I promised Morgan I would join him for a game of billiards,” Lizzie said.

“Is he teaching you to play?” Aurora asked with a smile.

Lizzie’s cheeks turned almost plum. “He says he’s going to teach me to cheat.”

“I think billiards is a euphemism,” Adelaide said with a singsong teasing tone.

“Oh, go on,” Lizzie said, giggling as she scurried up the stairs.

Adelaide grinned at Aurora. “You’d never know she was a wallflower not that long ago. Bad influences, these wicked husbands. Speaking of which, I’ll go find mine. See you tonight.”

Adelaide all but skipped up the stairs, which left Aurora to her own devices. And her devices were pointing her toward Nicholas. She’d been watching him all day as those happy couples all around her laughed and joked and teased and loved. One thing had become increasingly clear: her cowardice about facing the past had to end if she wanted to figure out the future.

And she did. So very much.

She marched down the hall, peeking in parlors and libraries and any room for him. But there was nothing. The last room she entered, she found Roseford’s butler, Jenner, talking to a housemaid. When he noticed her, he gave a slight bow. “May I help you, my lady?”

“I don’t know. I was looking for Mr. Gillingham,” she said, hoping she sounded casual and not desperate. She felt desperate.

“Ah, I believe he went up for an afternoon constitutional,” the butler said.

“I see,” she said. “Well, I’ll have to see him later, then. Thank you, Jenner.”

She exited the room and stood in the hallway. If Nicholas was