The Matter of a Marquess - Jess Michaels Page 0,47
always been that way, though. Her friend who had made her feel safe. Her love who had made her feel cared for.
She drew in a long breath. At least if he understood, he wouldn’t judge her. Not for this, at any rate. For other things, it seemed he would.
“Over the past ten years, my best friend was Imogen Huxley. Imogen was married to the third son of the Earl of Briarstone, Warren Huxley. We were both in arranged marriages…” She sucked in a breath and watched his reaction. “Not particularly happy ones.”
He flinched but said nothing, so she didn’t know if he recoiled because he felt guilty he’d left her to that fate or something else.
“Our husbands died within months of each other last year. I was so lucky to have her with me. Her help as I navigated what had happened and how I might find a future after my mourning period ended was all that kept me going during those dark months.”
“He died of an apoplexy, yes?”
She tilted her head. “Yes. In a brothel, actually.”
His mouth tightened. “That’s why you went there, then? Because of his death?”
“Not because he died in a spot like that one, no. You see, one more thing Imogen and I ended up having in common was that we were left destitute by our husbands. Her because Huxley’s family ripped her inheritance out from under her. Me because Lovell settled me with nothing.”
“I’m sorry,” Nicholas said, and she could tell he was being sincere. He was sorry, even though this wasn’t his fault. Not truly.
“I was too,” she said. “But I was luckier. I had my family that loves me.”
“More than loves you, I hope,” Nicholas said softly.
She tilted her head. “Do you pretend you don’t know how poorly my father handled his estates? That Thomas has been overwhelmed by debt and shame since the last earl’s death a few years ago? Your father must have mentioned it.”
Nicholas glanced away. “It’s come up in passing. My father is a professional, though. He would never give details. I wasn’t aware it was so terrible.”
She shrugged and hoped that covered some of the pain this conversation caused. She didn’t want his pity. Or to have him believe this story was some kind of manipulation meant to make him help her. “Well, because it is so terrible, I have been loath to involve my brother overly much. He can barely manage things for himself. I keep most of the particulars of my situation quiet.”
“You protect him,” he said.
“And I wanted to protect Imogen, but her situation was something else entirely. She had no family left, no help of any kind. And she’s such an independent spirit. She decided she would take a lover, as many women of our situation do.”
Nicholas arched a brow and his gaze flitted over her. She blushed. She hadn’t thought of tonight as taking a lover, not in that sense. But of course she had. The lover was just the love of her life. Still and always and forever, her foolish heart be damned.
She pushed that aside, for it would do her no good to feel it, and said, “Because of her husband’s awful family, she couldn’t hunt for a lover in more…elevated places. They threatened to take her home, to eliminate everything she had left. So she started going to worse places looking for a protector.”
“The Cat’s Companion isn’t where you find a protector,” he said. “Men go there for a night of pleasure, nothing more.”
She shivered. “I told her that, but she was so desperate. She was convinced that if she just pleased the right man the right way, she could still convince him to take her on as his mistress. She had a frightening experience one night—” She cut herself off as she tried not to think of Imogen’s story. Of how Imogen had barely escaped that horrible place with her life. “And I begged her not to go back there.”
“But she did.”
Aurora nodded. “She did, and I got word of it, and I…I tried to find her. But she has vanished. I’ve been searching far and wide for her. That night at the Cat’s Companion was the culmination of my search, but…but I was found out instead, and now I’m no good to Imogen at all because the world is watching and judging me.”
His expression softened and he nodded slowly. “I owe you an apology.”
She drew back. “Why?”
“I assumed I understood the story of why you’d go to such