Matt & Zoe - Charles Sheehan-Miles Page 0,11
and I was an ass. I apologize.”
I blink. In my experience, men don’t apologize for anything. “I accept.”
“Have a seat,” he says, gesturing to a chair. He sits down at the desk across from me, and I relax enough to get a look at the room.
It’s cozy in here. A little stuffy, if you want the truth. Mister Paladino has started to decorate the room with an assortment of school stuff—maps and books. A row of computers are arrayed along one wall, and posters are above that—cats on a flying trapeze, motivational posters, and one huge, colorful poster from the Ringling Brother’s Circus that looks like it was printed fifty years ago. Other materials are piled on his desk, ready to go up on the walls.
Jasmine is still in the back of the room, her face jammed up against the glass of an aquarium turned hamster cage. She’s cooing to the hamster, a half smile on her face for the first time since I’ve been home. Well, except when she was riding Mono.
I wish I had some idea how to help her have a full smile again. I don’t even know where to begin.
“I have to ask you one thing right up front, Chloe,” he says. Chloe? What?
“Zoe,” I say, unable to hide the annoyance in my voice. It’s not like he hasn’t had a chance to learn my name, since we spent all that time exchanging insurance information yesterday.
He flushes. Well, at least he has enough self-consciousness to be embarrassed about not remembering my name.
“My apologies. Zoe. What I wanted to ask you was… are you sure it’s a good idea for her to come back to school so quickly? She … well, you both… have had a horrible shock.”
I find myself blinking my eyes to force back tears. “We have,” I say. “Sitting at home moping isn’t going to help Jasmine. Look at her. This is the first time I’ve seen her smile. She needs some routine… some normality.”
He nods. “Okay. Got it. Normal. I’ll do the best I can. And please, can I offer my condolences? And my apologies, again?”
I nod. “Of course.” I glance back at Jasmine. She’s wandering the classroom now. Looking at books on the shelves. She picks a wooden puzzle off a shelf, and I start to say something to her, but Mister P reaches out and touches my hand to stop me.
I jerk my hand back.
“Sorry,” he says. “I was just…maybe let her look.”
I nod, taking a deep breath. “Yes. Yes, you’re right. I guess I don’t know her very well.” I don’t mean to sound wistful as I say the words, but I guess it’s unavoidable. And it kills me to say it to him, but I need an ally here.
“I don’t understand—”
“Mister P, I was in Tokyo until a few days ago. When our parents were killed they rushed me out of the Army and sent me home.”
His eyes widen. “You were in the Army?”
I’m instantly defensive. I get so tired of people looking at me—blonde haired, blue eyed, I must either be an airhead or a slut. “You find that difficult to believe?”
He gives his head a slight shake. “I find few things difficult to believe. But… I had assumed you were a student at UMASS.”
“I’m hoping to become one,” I say. “I haven’t even had a chance to get my feet under me yet, but I can’t sit around and do nothing. So I was thinking I’d at least try to get enrolled in school. Or find a job… or … or … something.”
The more I talk, the more I want someone to gag me. For the moment I just keep vomiting words. “The thing is… I wasn’t in love with my career. But I loved the travel. I loved Tokyo. I never expected to come home on such short notice. I never expected—”
I stop talking. Because I was about to say I never expected them to go and die. I can’t say that because Jasmine is walking back toward me, and for her, I have to keep my strength up. I need to show her strength, and compassion, and let her know that I can carry her too.
“All right,” he says quietly. “Do me a favor. Let’s talk via email over the next few days and weeks. A lot. I want to know how she’s doing and how I can help support her, okay? Do you guys have any other relatives in the area? Grandparents? Cousins?”
I shake