A Mate for Lu - Amy Bellows Page 0,56

said we won’t know anything for a few more weeks.”

“Because you and I have experienced loss before, and we’re still standing. If the worst happens, and this child can’t be in our family, we’ll mourn them, and then we’ll continue building our life together. Whether that means trying for another child, adopting, or deciding that our family is complete as it is, we will figure this out.”

He seems so sure. His eyes stare into mine with a steadiness that grounds me.

“I want this baby, Sam. I already feel completely attached to them. If I lose them…”

“I know. I’m already attached too.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “How about we name our baby? No matter what happens, that baby will have a name and have a place in our hearts. Okay?”

“Okay.” I can do that. “How about Robin?” It’s gender neutral, like the rest of Sam’s children. Planning Jesse’s party has been a meaningful experience. I’d like to share that with our youngest child too.

Sam smiles. “I did this article on the bird-watching community once, and robins are considered good luck charms. We could use a bit of luck.” He places his hand on my belly. “Hello there, Robin. I’m your alpha father. And I hope I get to meet you someday.”

I place my hand on top of his. “I’m your omega father, Robin. And I want to meet you too. So, so much.” My voice breaks at the end as the tears leak out. I can never stop crying these days. The pregnancy hormones bring on the waterworks at the drop of a hat.

Sam pulls me into his arms and holds me while I cry. We sit there for over a half an hour. He doesn’t rush me, doesn’t ask me to get over it or be fine. He lets me be sad.

We’re done hiding what we are or what we’re feeling. Sam’s with me one hundred percent. No matter what happens to Robin, we’ll get through it together.

38

Sam

One month later…

“I found my bowtie!” Jesse calls out from across the house. Their voice cracks in the middle.

I hold back a smile. Their voice is changing, and it’s kind of cute.

Lu elbows me. “They can’t help it.” He’s standing in front of the full-length mirror in our bedroom. It’s customary for immediate family to dress formally for a gender reveal too, so Lu is decked out in a cream tuxedo that’s loose around his stomach where his baby bump should be. Lu’s sensitive about how small he is at this stage of the pregnancy. Despite going to the doctor every week, we still don’t know much more about how our baby is doing. The doctor has been able to determine that Robin is in their penguin form, but not why they’re growing so slowly.

Underneath the cream tuxedo, Lu is wearing a button-up shirt made of lace. Jesse helped him pick it out. The two of them have been thick as thieves the last few weeks. Instead of a bowtie, Lu’s top button is open to reveal his pebble necklace.

“You look beautiful,” I say, fastening my cufflinks.

He examines himself in the mirror. “Do you think it’s too much? I’m already a polar bear shifter. I don’t want to steal Jesse’s thunder.”

I step in front of the mirror. “You let Jesse plan every bit of this party including your tux.”

“But I told him I wanted to wear the lace—”

“And you should. You are an important part of this family. Not a penguin shifter version of you. Not a less flamboyant version of you. You.”

I wish I could tell him that Jesse is trans. Maybe then he would understand that it’s good for Jesse to see him being himself. But that isn’t my secret to tell.

Someday Jesse might feel comfortable telling Lu on their own.

Lu turns around. His eyes dance as he looks at me. “You are so handsome.” He steps closer to me and grabs me by the lapels. “After the party we should…”

I’m a thirty-five-year-old man, but I still get butterflies in my stomach. I lean down to brush my lips against his.

Which is when I hear the creak of our door opening. Mary jumps inside and dramatically spins with her arms out, her frothy white dress swirling around her. “I fancy.”

Lu laughs, and crouches down next to her. “Do you like your dress?”

She bobs her head up and down.

Morgan and Parker run in after her. They got to choose between tuxes and gowns because they haven’t had their gender