A Mate for Lu - Amy Bellows Page 0,39

You’re being an asshole.”

I sit back on the flimsy plastic chair. “Excuse me?”

“You gave Lu your pebble.”

“But my kids—”

“Are you really willing to neglect your mate because you’re afraid of what people will say? For Ice’s sake, Sam. Grow a pair.”

Of course Ed would say something like that. He’s always doling out vulgar, useless platitudes. If it was that simple, Lu and I would already be living together. But it’s not.

He gestures to my ball again. Why the hell not? Bowling is probably more productive than trying to explain to him why he’s wrong.

I walk over to the ball and pick it up. Throwing it down the lane hard didn’t work, so this time I take care to swing it more gently, releasing it at exactly the right point. It rolls down the lane more slowly and knocks half of the pins down.

I sit down again. “You know as well as I do that my kids will bear the brunt of this.”

“They might. But you can’t keep a secret like this forever. They’re going to find out sooner or later.”

He’s right. At some point, my kids are going to wonder why I go into the storage closet every night or what I do on Saturday nights. I think Jesse already suspects something.

“Look at it like this. You’re about to do something controversial. You can either be open about it and show everyone you’re not ashamed. Or you can be a complete asshat and lie to everybody until the rumor gets out. What do you think is gonna be better for your kids?”

“But if we just waited until after Jesse’s party—”

“You were telling me just two weeks ago that Jesse wasn’t that excited to plan their party. Are you sure the gender reveal party means as much to them as it does to you?”

I think back to the morning Jesse and I went to look at venues for the party. Maybe they feel differently now that they can be revealed as their true gender. But the reality is I don’t know. I assumed the party was important to Jesse because it was important to me when I was their age.

Maybe I shouldn’t assume.

“Jesse loves Lu,” I say.

Ed stands and claps a hand on my shoulder. “Then let love guide you, Sam. Not fear.” He looks pointedly at the women at the other side of the bowling alley. “It takes courage to be different, but it’s better than living a lie.”

That’s what I was telling Jesse earlier this morning. It seemed so much easier when I was giving the advice instead of receiving it. But I have to deal with this at some point, and Skyping with Lu every night, while otherwise pretending we aren’t mates, isn’t dealing with it.

It’s a relief to realize that I need to be honest about my relationship with Lu.

“Thanks, Ed.”

“Don’t thank me yet. You still got eight more turns before the game is over, and I plan to give you unsolicited advice the entire time.”

I sigh and grab for my ball.

25

Lu

Even though Axe normally stays with me when he’s in Anchorage, he sneaks out after Mary goes to bed and doesn’t return until late the next morning. I pretend to not notice him walking out of Cy’s apartment or the stupid grin on his face.

I won’t pry for details before he’s ready to tell me, but I am relieved. The two of them have been apart for too long.

At least one of us will get to have love.

As I get Mary ready to take Axe to his assessment, I’m bombarded by text messages.

Sam: Are we still on for tonight at 8?

Victor: The contract is solid. If you’re comfortable with the compensation, I would sign it.

Ansel: I have to know. How did it go? Did you show him the goods?

The last two messages makes me smile. Even though this didn’t turn out the way I hoped, I don’t regret sending my portfolio or taking lingerie from Ansel. At the very least, my relationship with Sam made me reevaluate my life.

I respond to all three of them.

To Sam: My brother is in town. I won’t be able to spend the night with you this week.

To Victor: Thank you for your advice.

To Ansel: I did show him and he loved it. Thank you.

Axe finally returns from yet another jaunt to Cy’s apartment, and I strap Mary into her car seat. While we wait for Axe to get into the car, my phone keeps buzzing with new messages.

Sam: Can we