A Mate for Lu - Amy Bellows Page 0,17

my business.”

“No. He’s in love with my brother. But you’re right. It’s none of your business.” The words come out harsher than I mean them to.

“I know that I have no right to ask who you’ve slept with, or to even show up on your doorstep like this. But I’d like to discuss something with you that we can’t talk about over the phone.”

I step back, gesturing for Sam to come inside. If he brought flowers, maybe he’s going to ask me to do something for him. Like go to Jesse’s gender reveal party. Or maybe one of the illustrations needs work.

Whatever it is, I don’t have the heart to turn him away.

I sit on the couch, and he joins me on the other end. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out something small and round. I can’t quite see it properly, but the shine at the top is strangely alluring.

“What is that?” I ask.

Sam closes his fist around it. “My mate’s name was Allen. He died of brain cancer. In the last few weeks of his life he asked me to remove his bonding necklace before they buried him. So I did. But I never understood why he wanted me to do that. He just kept on saying, ‘you only get one pebble.’ The cancer had taken too much of his brain at that point. But now… I don’t know. I think he might have wanted me to keep it safe for someone else.”

What does he mean by that?

Sam takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Alpha penguin shifters search for their pebble for years. I spent every weekend during my teens hiking mountain after mountain with my alpha father, looking for it. When I put it in my beak for the first time, I knew without any doubt that it was mine. I can’t explain it. Allen was the same way. The moment he saw my pebble, he knew it was meant for him.”

I hold my breath. What does it mean if I also feel drawn to his pebble, and I haven’t even seen it properly yet?

It probably doesn’t matter. Sam already has a mate.

“Do you think a penguin shifter’s pebble can be meant for more than one man?” he asks.

I shake my head. “I don’t know.”

He opens his fist, and I finally get a good look at it. I shouldn’t think it’s beautiful. It’s just a small rock, and not even a smooth small rock. It has tiny divots on one side and a black discoloration on the other. But I ache to hold it with every fiber of my being. My vision becomes cloudy as I realize that I can’t.

That pebble belongs to someone else.

“Do you like it?” he asks, his voice trembling.

I close my eyes and nod.

The warmth of Sam’s hand slides against my jaw. “My pebble speaks to you, doesn’t it?”

I nod again. The tears roll down my cheeks, and I don’t try to hold them back. Because it doesn’t matter. I still don’t get to be with him.

“I can’t do this anymore, Lu.”

I open my eyes. “Do what?”

“Stay in this limbo. It’s like I’m not allowed to live, even though I’m not dead yet. And to watch you slip through my fingers, even though I love you. Even though we’re meant to be…”

“But how will people react? You have kids. And your parents… Allen’s parents…”

Sam leans in and kisses my forehead. “Thank you for caring about them. You’re right. It’s going to be hard for people. That’s why I think it would be best if we kept it secret. Just until Morgan’s Pebble Gifting Season is over.”

Morgan is eight years old. Their Pebble Gifting Season won’t happen until they’re twenty-three.

That’s when I understand. Sam isn’t offering to be my mate. He’s offering to sneak around with me.

Of course. I knew it was too good to be true.

“So then… you just want sex.” Just like every other alpha I’ve ever been with.

“Lu, no. That isn’t what I meant—”

“It’s fine.” I liked sex with Sam, didn’t I? And at least I’d know he was being honest with me. Sometimes guys promise me more than they’re actually going to give. Like Mary’s alpha father. He promised to take care of me, but he didn’t do it.

“I want to give you my pebble,” he says, holding it out to me.

When I touch it for the first time, the sense of rightness is overwhelming. Sam is my fated mate. How cruel is it that