The Matchmaker's Replacement - Rachel Van Dyken Page 0,92
find my voice. “No, you don’t understand, I would never lie to you.”
“But,” Lex sighed. “It feels like a lie. Like betrayal, Gabs. It sure as hell equals a pretty large omission on your part. First about the food, next about your parents. Damn it, Gabs. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was too embarrassed, and you guys had already done so much for me!” I clenched my fists. “And I didn’t want help! I had it under control!”
“You mean when you were pressured every day to dance at the club? Or how about when you almost got raped in the freaking parking lot! Was that having things under control?”
“I didn’t ask you to save me!” I shouted.
“You didn’t have to!” He matched my tone as he charged toward me. “Because I always will!” His voice laced with hurt. “Because that’s what friends do, Gabs! They save each other. They hold your head above water when you’re drowning. They give you the life vest and promise you everything will be okay! Are we at least that, Gabs?”
Tears clouded my vision. “You said we were never friends.”
“Gabs—” Lex’s voice cracked. “We’re so much more and you know it.”
I nodded, unable to trust my voice.
“I don’t want this if I can’t have all of you.”
“What?” I jerked my head up. “What do you mean?”
“This.” He pointed between us. “I need you to be all in . . . I need all of you, Gabs. Not just the parts you think I want.”
I was terrified by the words coming out of his mouth, because I knew what they meant for me, for him. This wasn’t just a fling, it wasn’t just a onetime thing, a playbook training exercise.
It was me and Lex.
I could only stare at him. Was he sure he wanted this? “But—”
“I want the sickness.” Lex’s lips twitched as a heartbreaking smile flashed across his face, making me dizzy. “I want to bring you soup when you don’t feel well. I want to give you pot scones.”
I burst out laughing as tears cascaded down my face.
“I want your body, Gabs. Believe me, it’s probably unhealthy the number of times I think of you naked. But, Gabs, I need this too.” He pressed his hand against my chest. “I want it all. Or I’m out.”
“You ask a lot for a villain.”
“Hey, yesterday I was a hero. Can’t I be both?”
“You already are,” I whispered.
“Gabi.” Lex pulled me into his arms. “I love you.”
My heart dropped to my knees, then came flying back up into my chest, taking off in crazy cadence as words got caught in my throat. Finally, I found my voice. “I love you too.”
Giddiness swept through me as my stomach erupted with butterflies, as if I’d been keeping this giant secret, maybe from myself and clearly from Lex and Ian. I loved him. I’d loved him a long time. It felt so good saying it out loud, as if the pieces I was holding so close to my chest finally broke free and found their home.
In his arms.
His lips twisted into a half-smile. “Of course you do. I’m awesome.”
“You ruined our moment.” I giggled as he picked me up into his arms and set me on the washing machine.
“Guess I’ll have to create another one.” He nipped my lips once, twice, then kissed me hard across the mouth. His tongue teased my lower lip until I whimpered in frustration.
His hands gripped my butt as he slid me closer to his body. “You’re mine, Gabi. Always have been. Always will be.”
“Yes,” I agreed, rocking into him as he rained kisses down my neck. “Yes.”
“What the HELL is this!” Ian’s voice boomed from the door.
Lex’s mouth froze on mine.
Our eyes locked.
And for the first time in my life, I saw legitimate fear in Lex’s eyes as he slowly turned his head toward Ian. “Man, listen—”
“Listen!” Ian repeated. “You want me to listen?”
In a blur of yelling and obscenities, Ian was on top of Lex, punching the crap out of him while Lex took it.
“Ian, stop it!” I wailed. “Stop!”
“You bastard! I warned you!” Another punch to the jaw, while Lex still refused to defend himself. “You promised!”
“Ian, stop!” I tried prying him free, but he shook me off.
Blood poured from Lex’s nose and maybe from his mouth—it was impossible to tell.
Crack, thump. Ian struck with a one-two motion. Bruises were already forming on Lex’s cheeks, and a cut above his right eye