if any of my friends told me not to come over. But this was different. And I didn’t really know how to feel about that. My phone buzzed again.
“But if you’re up for a movie, my mom goes to sleep at like 9.”
I smiled. She was asking me to come watch a movie with her. Like a date. But that was the question. Was it like a date or was it a date?
“Unless you want to hang out with her again. In which case, come before 9. But you better come hungry, because I can’t eat all of this.”
That felt a little less like a date. And for some reason that made me even more confused. I loved Mrs. Alcaraz. But I didn’t want to hang out with her again tonight. I just wanted to spend more time with Kennedy. “I’ll be there after 9.”
“Okay then.”
“Okay.” I shook my head and shoved my phone in my sweatpants pocket. Okay. The word turned around in my head as I made my way into Central Park. I’m pretty sure I just agreed to go on a date with Kennedy. And I did feel okay. I wasn’t panicking. I should have been panicking, but my breaths felt easier than they had in a long time. Okay.
Or maybe it was just that I was in the one place in the city where the air truly felt fresh. James, Mason, and Rob all loved running through this park. But I preferred running on a treadmill. Being here always reminded me of Brooklyn. And most days I didn’t purposely want to feel the knife twisting in my chest. The farther I walked into Central Park, the guiltier I felt. Had I seriously just agreed to go on a date with Kennedy? Brooklyn’s best friend? What the fuck was wrong with me?
I tried to take a deep breath, but this time my lungs felt weird. I needed to calm down. I counted down slowly from ten again and again. The last thing I needed was for Poppy to witness me having a panic attack. She’d think I’d be easy to control in whatever game she was playing. But it would have been easier if she’d chosen a different fucking restaurant.
I took a deep breath, keeping my eyes trained on the sidewalk instead of letting my gaze wander to all the places that would remind me of Brooklyn. But I kept looking up. Like I was expecting to see Brooklyn’s smiling face on the path up ahead.
My feet froze on the little bridge I’d come to a million times. The corner of my mouth rose as I remembered getting down on one knee. Brooklyn had thought I was going to propose. I’d been able to tell by the expression on her face. She’d stared at me like she was excited but also like she thought I’d lost my mind. And I was pretty sure it was in that moment that I realized I wanted to marry her. That I couldn’t imagine my life without her.
And she’d laughed as I pulled a hotdog out from behind my back instead of a ring. That sealed the deal. The fact that she’d seemed just as delighted with a cheap hotdog as she would have with a ring. I stared out over the water.
And that’s when I saw her. I squinted at the woman with red hair coming out of the nearby restaurant. She was alone and looked upset. Most likely she had just set some other poor asshole on fire and was making a quick exit.
“Ash?” I called. It was definitely her. Although, she was better dressed than when we’d had our date.
She looked up and her eyes grew so round. A few people walked in front of her, blocking my view. I walked across the bridge and…she was gone. “Ash?” I turned in a circle. It was weird. When Kennedy had shown up, I had this gut feeling that she was supposed to be some kind of sign from Brooklyn. But what if I was wrong? What if Ash was the sign? Because she’d just shown up when I was thinking about Brooklyn.
I looked around once more. Or had Ash shown up? Because she’d literally disappeared. Had I just imagined that? Was I fucking losing my mind now? Probably. I had thought Jefferson’s mom was stalking me...
But then I heard a splash.
I looked at the water and sure enough…Ash’s head was bobbing on top of the surface.