idea instead of her being mad at me. James was such an ass. It just made me regret what I’d said to him last night even less. But why did she need to talk to me about their fight? There could only be two reasons. He either told her all about Brooklyn and she was wondering why I hadn’t told her. Or she was here because she finally realized James was the worst and she was giving in to her feelings for me. Because they were definitely there. I could feel it. Couldn’t she?
The teakettle started wailing. I pulled it off the stove and poured the hot water into two mugs. I handed one to her after putting a bag of chamomile tea in it.
“Oh it feels so good,” she said as she wrapped her hands around the hot cup.
Just you wait. I thought about what else she could wrap her hands around to warm up. Stop. Her eyes were still puffy from crying. All I knew was that if she was mine, she wouldn’t be crying right now. I’d fucking worship that girl. Like she deserved. It was easy to think that was true. But was it really? Because I could never actually love her. And she certainly didn’t deserve to be someone’s second choice. “Are you going to tell me what you two fought about?” I asked.
“Stress.”
Wait, what? “Stress?”
“Yes, stress. You unloaded all this stuff on him and it’s too much. He’s been working on stress management. After everything he’s been through…he’s under enough pressure balancing work and fatherhood because he has to pick up my slack...” her voice trailed off and she pressed her lips together like she’d said too much.
“What’s going on with you?”
She ran her thumb down the side of the mug. “I’m just worried about him.”
“I’m not asking about James. I’m asking about you. What slack is James being forced to be pick up?”
“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that James always puts the weight of the world on his shoulders. Isabella’s father isn’t taking his calls and he doesn’t know how to make sure Scarlett is safe. We both know what the Pruitt family is capable of. James hired more security, but we’re not dumb. We know it’s not enough. And on top of all that, he’s worried you hate him.” It looked like she was going to cry again.
I swallowed hard.
“I told him that of course that wasn’t true. That he’s one of your best friends. But he just told me I didn’t understand. What don’t I understand? Why are you two fighting? Things have been weird between you two ever since we came to your game. I overheard something about loving Brooklyn last night?”
I couldn’t breathe.
“I didn’t even realize you ever lived outside of Manhattan. And James is focusing on your fight and he won’t tell me what’s going on.”
So she didn’t know? She thought we both loved living in Brooklyn or something? As in the place? Not my fiancée?
“James tells me everything. So if he’s not telling me this, it’s because you specifically asked him not to. And I don’t understand. You know everything about me, Matt.”
Not what it feels like to kiss you. “I don’t think that’s true.”
“I don’t keep stuff from you. Secrets are awful. God, if I learned one thing in that huge scandal with James, it’s that secrets are toxic. So what aren’t you telling me?”
I hated seeing her with unshed tears. I hated seeing her upset in any way. And I was pretty sure my brain short circuited, because somehow I’d gotten on the other side of the island and was standing right next to her. I didn’t want to talk about her husband. I didn’t want to talk about any of this. All I could think about were ways to silence her with my lips.
She looked up at me. “Just tell me, Matt. Tell me what you’re keeping from me.”
“You first.”
She pulled her eyebrows together. “I’m not…”
“You just said how toxic secrets are. But you’re hiding something too, Penny.”
“This isn’t about me. This is about you and James.”
“Fuck James.”
“That is so far from the answer that I expected. Fuck James? Seriously? How could you even say that? You’re one of his best friends. And I’m not here to listen to you hurl insults at my husband. Don’t you see that insulting him is essentially insulting me?” She shook her head. “That doesn’t matter. Insult me all you want. I’m here because I love James