ecologist daughter, so like my mother-in-law’. Since Janet and Georgia had always got on, in a mutually uncomprehending sort of way, there was no hidden putdown in that.
Not so Janet’s references to Finn. She always told people it had been an amicable divorce and she certainly never stopped him seeing the children. But Bella remembered the tears and her mother’s white cold face when her father had first announced that he was leaving. He needed to be free, he’d said. He had to go where the wind blew him round the world, not keep checking in with mortgage payments and Parent Teacher meetings.
‘There was never another woman,’ Janet would tell people lightly. ‘He left me for a yak.’
And, indeed, Finn’s next expedition, before the divorce was even final, had been to Mongolia. So people would laugh and say he was incorrigible. But Bella knew that it had hurt Janet horribly when it happened and it hurt still. She and her mother were not on the same wavelength and they never would be, but there are some things you can’t avoid knowing if you’re part of a family. And would never say aloud, of course.
‘Have you spoken to your father?’ Janet asked on Saturday morning.
They were in the local town, doing some mother and daughter bonding in Janet’s favourite dress shop.
‘No. I sent him a text when I got back and I’ve tried a couple of emails but he hasn’t called to me. I suppose he’s somewhere out of range.’
‘Patagonia,’ said Janet, who always knew what her ex-husband was doing. ‘Georgia said they might meet up somewhere before she comes back to London. She’s coming for Christmas by the way.’
‘Oh, that’s nice. Will Neill and Val be here too?’
Janet’s face closed. ‘I’ve no idea. Neill is being very difficult at the moment.’
‘Really? It’s not just me he’s avoiding, then,’ said Bella, relieved. She had been hurt by Neill’s failure to reply to her messages.
Janet sniffed. ‘I suspect he’s been talking to his father. Finn would never make up his mind about Christmas either. But now you’re back, you’ll be coming, won’t you? Unless you’re going back to that island?’
‘No, Ma. That’s finished.’
‘Good.’ Janet patted Bella’s shoulder awkwardly, as if she were afraid of offending her. ‘I mean, you said it was a dead end, didn’t you? Do you want to talk to Kevin about a job? I know he’d like to help.’
‘No, thanks, Ma. I’ve got a job to tide me over and the long-term career search is in hand.’
‘You’re such a capable girl,’ said her mother involuntarily. ‘I wish I’d been more like you when I was your age.’
Bella stared. ‘You’re one of the most capable woman I know. You’re always organising things.’
‘Not when I was your age. Wouldn’t say boo to a goose. Your father used to say—’ Janet stopped abruptly. ‘Well, that’s ancient history. Now, what about me buying you something smart for those interviews? And some good warm trousers, so you can walk round the golf course with me tomorrow.’
Normally Bella would have said no, she had been buying her own clothes since she was fourteen and anyway they never liked the same things. But this time, something made her say, ‘Yes, thank you, Ma. That would be great.’
Janet flushed. ‘Really?’
She looked so surprised that Bella felt a flicker of compunction. She gave her mother a quick, awkward hug.
So Janet presented her with an outfit for a cold-but-smart day in the country with the wealthy middle-aged, plus a discreetly expensive business suit for interviews. And then there was The Frock. For Christmas parties and special occasions, said Janet, though Bella thought it made her look like a middle-aged golf wife on the prowl. All of them made Bella feel mildly depressed. Janet, however, was delighted.
‘You have lost a lot of weight. Wish I could,’ she congratulated her daughter.
But actually Bella was a bit shocked to discover how much thinner she was than when she had left. All her trousers were so loose she could stuff a cushion down the front of them and a couple of pairs actually wouldn’t stay up any more. Shirts flapped and her smartest party dress was unwearable because she kept moving around inside the boned bodice.
‘Bella’s gone down two sizes,’ Janet told her Saturday night guests, plainly delighted.
Bella soon understood why. They all congratulated Janet as if this were the highest maternal achievement. But Kevin, who never commented on his wife or stepdaughter’s appearance, said it didn’t suit Bella, she was looking