Fuck me, I’m married. Didn’t matter how many times I repeated it to myself, I still couldn’t believe I’d agreed to this.
“Everything okay?”
The hard, rough tone of his voice broke me out of my jumbled thoughts, and I turned my head to look at him with a small smile. “Of course. I should really say thank yo—”
“You don’t need to.” He gave me a curt nod before I could even finish then focused on his driver. “Raymond, change of plans. We need to drop by the apartment first, and then we will head to the airport.”
“Yes, sir.”
I swallowed and fisted my hands on my lap. Now what? I thought. Now do we talk? Do we not talk at all? How does this work? Surprisingly, he was the first one to break the bleak silence.
“I might be out of reach for a few hours each day, depending on my meetings, but I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” Was he talking to his driver or me? I couldn’t tell. “If something comes up with Bryan or even Jodi, if they give you any trouble about our marriage, leave me a message. Don’t talk to either one of them until you hear back from me.” Me then. He was staring straight ahead, but he was talking to me because Jodi and Bryan were my cousins. “If everything goes as planned, I’ll be back in a week at most.” He paused. “If you wish…you can accompany me.”
Nope.
“Oh, thank you, but I can’t. I need to work on the coffee shop, and as much—”
“You’re right,” he interrupted before I could finish. “I’d rather go myself as well.”
Well, then…
I nodded and looked out the window. I wasn’t sure if I’d managed to hide my relief well enough. Him being away for a week meant seven more days I could take to come to terms with my decision. I’d take every extra minute I could get.
“Where are you going again?” I asked, realizing I had no idea.
“London.”
“Oh, I’ve always wanted to visit London—anywhere in Europe, really. You’re lucky that you get to travel. I don’t know if lawyers do a lot of traveling, of course, but…”
I paused and waited for him to say something, if nothing else just to help me make pointless conversation, but I had a feeling it wasn’t happening. I wasn’t wrong.
“Do you have a client in London?” I tried again, but I knew it was hopeless.
Jack lifted his arm and checked his watch while shaking his head as an answer to my question.
“Raymond, take the next turn. Get us out of here.”
When there was nothing but silence in the back of the car, I closed my eyes and pressed my temple against the cold glass of the window.
Ever since I’d said okay to this crazy plan, I had done my best not to think about it too hard. Now it was too late to do any kind of thinking. We hadn’t even had time to discuss where I would live. With him? Without him? Would we even get along if we lived together? Joshua… Would he hear that I had gotten married? And so soon after our breakup, too. Suddenly, every single question I had and ones I hadn’t even known I had all rushed into my mind all at once.
Ten minutes had passed where no one in the car had uttered a single word. For some reason, that was causing me to panic more than anything. What had I gotten myself into, really? If I couldn’t even manage to have a simple conversation with the guy, what the hell were we gonna do for the next twelve or twenty-four months? Stare at each other? Feeling sick, I pressed my palm against my stomach as if I could hold it all in—all the emotions, disappointments, forgotten dreams—but it was too late for that. I felt the first tear slide down my cheek, and even though I quickly tried to brush it away with the back of my hand because there was no reason for me to cry, I couldn’t stop all the others that followed. In just a few minutes, I was full-on silently crying, the tears a quiet stream I didn’t know how to stop.
Very aware that my mascara had probably made a mess of my face, I cried without making even a peep until the car came to a stop. When I opened my eyes and realized we were heading toward the wrong side of