and I will be right on the other side of the glass.” She held up a small button connected to a long wire. “You’ll be holding this in your hand, and if you start to panic, you can press it and we’ll stop and take you out.”
“But then we’ll have to start again, right?”
“I’m afraid so. Ready?”
My jaw clenched, my hands forming fists on their own. I didn’t like this, and Rose wasn’t moving.
She laughed, the sound broken and wrong. “I’ll move any second now, promise.”
The technician smiled.
“Can I stay in the room with her?” I asked, the anger in my voice loud and clear, only I wasn’t angry at anyone there. I just hated that my hands were tied and no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t help her. Me staying in the room wouldn’t change the fact that she was gonna have to go in there, but I figured it would help me, if not her.
Rose’s head snapped up to me, her lips parting. “Jack, you don’t have to do that.”
I ignored her. “Is it safe?” I asked the technician, trying my best not to growl at her. I didn’t think I was that successful because her eyes grew large and she nervously reached up to push her glasses up her nose.
“Erm, yes. It’s safe, but you’ll need to take off your—”
“Got it.” I turned away and walked out of the room to take care of everything. Less than a minute later, I was back.
Rose was still standing on her two feet and not on the table.
“Okay?” I asked when I was standing too close yet not close enough.
She took a deep breath, let it all out, and nodded. I offered her my hand and waited as she ran her palms up and down her leggings and then slowly grasped mine. It was cold. I helped her up, and right when she was about to lie down on her back, the technician stopped her.
“Oh, I’m gonna need you to lie on your stomach.”
Rose straightened up to a sitting position immediately, one of her hands still in mine, her grip as tight as possible. “What?” she sputtered.
“The scan your doctor wants is taken facedown.”
“But my nose—it’s—and…” Her eyes came to me as her face started crumpling, her breathing too fast. “Jack, I won’t be able to breathe, not facedown. I can’t—”
I gave Rose’s hand a squeeze and she stopped talking. Without shifting my eyes from hers, I addressed the technician. “Could you give us a moment, please?”
Rose’s gaze followed the technician as she stepped out of the room and closed the door. She was on the verge of hyperventilating, and the scan hadn’t even started.
“You’re going to be late to the coffee shop, and on top of that you’re making me late, too. We have to do this, right? You heard the doctor.”
She swallowed, her throat moving.
I caught her chin between my fingers and forced her gaze to meet mine. Arching an eyebrow, I asked again, “We have to do this. I need you to be okay, so we can’t avoid it.”
Licking her lips, she nodded. “I won’t be able to see anything. The room is closing in on me even right now.”
Her chest was starting to rise and fall faster; she was seconds away from a panic attack, so I leaned down until we were eye level. “You can do this, Rose. You will do this, and then we’ll get out of here. It’ll only take fifteen minutes—surely you can hang on that long. I’ll be here the entire time, and once it’s done, we won’t look back.”
She closed the distance between us and rested her forehead against mine. “I know I’m being stupid. I’m sorry. I’m scared, that’s all. I—” She took another deep breath and closed her eyes. “I’m gonna have surgery, for crying out loud—if I freak out with this, I won’t make—”
My left hand, the one that wasn’t in Rose’s death grip, clenched. “Let’s worry about this hurdle, and then we’ll start freaking out about the surgery. Take the time to think about your coffee shop. Make plans.”
Pulling back from me, she sniffled and nodded, her eyes suspiciously wet.
“You ready now?” I asked.
“You’ll really stay here?”
“I said I would, didn’t I?”
The edges of her lips moved up. “Yes, you did.” Another deep breath out. “If I didn’t worry about what you’d think of me, I’d try my best to run away from this right now.”