“You better,” she said threateningly and turned on her heel.
“I feel like I used to be better with women,” I complained to Josh as I took another shot, the cold alcohol burning my throat.
“Yes, except that you never were,” he replied sagely.
“I’m sorry, sir!” someone shouted. “You cannot go up there. That is a private, VIP area only.”
“I demand to see my son! You can’t stop me from going up there!”
I looked over blearily through the fog and the lights.
“Dad?”
My father stormed into the VIP area, narrowly avoiding banging into one of the chairs.
“What is the meaning of this?” he barked. “What did I tell you?” He reached out and snatched the crown off of my head and threw it to the floor, where the metal bounced.
“You’re getting married? After everything I warned you about?”
“No, no,” Eric said, “Mr. Winchester, it’s fake! Chris is getting fake married.”
“I lost a bet,” I explained, trying to keep my tone light to calm my father down.
He wiped a handkerchief over his red face. My father was a tall man, big in the shoulders like me. He picked up two shots of vodka and downed them one after the other then sat down heavily beside me.
“Fake married, eh,” he said, forcing out a laugh. “You had me there for a second, son.” He patted me roughly on the shoulder. “After what your mother did to me…”
He sniffed then picked up another shot glass. “I’ve spent my entire life trying to make sure you aren’t trapped like I was by a gold-digging lying harpy.” He downed the drink.
“No way is Chris going to fall for that,” Eric said in a rush.
“Definitely not! They’ve been giving me all the war stories from divorce court,” I assured my dad.
“War stories is right!” Eric said, sitting across from us and leaning forward over the low table with the shot glasses. “We just got a case in today. Nice guy, good job, lots of money, pretty wife. Beautiful little girl. Well, guess what? He came in wanting a divorce, was all choked up.”
“She cheated on him, didn’t she?” my father said, picking up two more shots and handing me one.
“Yup, but wait, it gets better. She’s pregnant.”
“Knew it!” my father boomed.
My stomach roiled like it always did when Josh and Eric retold one of their relationship horror stories. I took another shot, resolving to never get married. Hell, I was going to be like Leonardo DiCaprio and never even date seriously.
“Not only was she pregnant,” Eric said, “but we told the guy to paternity test his daughter. Wasn’t his kid. But the kid was a full sibling of the newborn baby.”
“No!” I said in horror.
“Yup,” Eric replied. “He’s been paying for another man’s child all this time.”
“And,” Josh cut in, “he’s going to continue to do so because he had been the little girl’s dad for like nine years by this point.”
Eric shook his head. “So he’s living out of his office, and she’s living with the father of both kids in the house our client paid for, living off money the client is sending her and her unemployed lover every month.”
“Damn.”
“Moral of the story, Chris? Never. Ever. Ever get married,” Eric concluded.
My vision swam as I looked into the glass.
“Maybe you need to find some way out of the contract,” my father insisted. “That’s exactly what happened to me. Your mother trapped me.”
“But I am actually your kid. We just did another paternity test last month,” I reminded him.
“Yes, she trapped me,” Dad yelled, banging his fist on the table, sending the shot glasses rattling. “This woman, this fake wife you’re marrying, is going to do the same to you, and she’ll steal your company and everything you’ve built.”
“You have to get me out of this contract,” I begged Josh and Eric.
“No way am I marrying that lunatic,” Eric scoffed. “You lost the poker match.”
I took another shot.
“It will be fine,” Josh assured me. “It’s not legal. Just make sure you don’t sleep with her.”
“And definitely don’t fall in love.”
“As if.”
7
Grace
“Going to the chapel!” Zeus shrieked right next to my ear early the next morning. “Gonna get married, bitches!”
I brushed him aside, wincing, and glanced at the clock. It was four forty-five. I still had fifteen more minutes until the alarm went off.
“Stupid parrot.”
“Stupid! Stupid!”
I lay on my back and stared up at the dark ceiling.
I was getting married today. Me. I had barely even dated! I hadn’t had my first kiss until I was