food, and I was going in for round two after I had a nap.
Chris set the food on the counter while I flopped on the couch. Then he came over, half straddling me to kiss me.
“I have tomato breath,” I complained.
“Yeah,” Chris said, “and that makes you addicting.”
His hands pushed up under my black polo shirt.
Beep! Beep! sounded softly through the open kitchen and living area.
“That better not be your alarm,” I warned Chris, my fingers tightening in his hair.
He looked up and smirked.
“It’s yours.” He swung his leg off the couch, and I felt slightly cold without his body next to mine.
“Your laptop is dying,” he said, bringing me my computer.
“Ugh, my cable is in my bag,” I said, making a grabbing motion from the couch.
“This one?” Chris asked, picking up my camera bag and unzipping a side pocket.
“No!” I shouted, trying to lunge, but ended up only rolling off the sofa like an elephant seal.
It was too late. A rainbow of condoms cascaded out of the bag, bouncing all over me and the floor.
“Shit.”
“What the hell is this?” Chris spat. “Are you cheating on me?”
“With who?” I demanded from the floor.
Mental note, do not eat so much in one sitting.
“I spend all my time at work or with you!”
“Then why do you have all these condoms?” he roared.
“Safe sex, asshole!” I yelled back at him.
“These aren’t even my size!” he snarled.
“They aren’t?” I asked, picking one up. I held it up to him. “It says magnum.”
“That’s just a marketing term,” he scoffed. “Most men pick a bigger size than normal, and it doesn’t fit properly. But those of us who need a larger size have to buy specialty condoms.”
My eyebrows went up to my hairline.
“That is literally the most conceited thing I have ever heard, and I work with bridezillas on a daily basis.”
“It’s true,” Chris insisted, gesturing with the bag still in his hand. “You’ve been with me; you know how large I am.”
“You sound like a sociopath,” I said flatly. “I have bet money that you are maybe only slightly above average.”
“You what?” Chris cocked his head.
“Er…”
The tape measure Brea had given me chose that moment to kamikaze out of my bag and hit me in the face.
“Ouch!” I grabbed for it.
Chris beat me to it because I had just consumed my weight in pasta.
“It’s just my friends’,” I lied. “It’s for measuring our brides. I need it for, uh, setting up my lens length.”
“Really?” Chris asked, unfurling the tape measure. “Because it is embroidered with the phrase, ‘How big is Chris’s dick,’ and it has very happy-looking penises all over it.”
“I’m going to kill my friend.”
Chris set the camera bag down. When he turned back to me, he had a knowing look on his face.
“You had a betting pool about how big I was.”
“Never!”
“Admit it.”
“It was my friends’ idea!” I wailed.
“Now who sounds crazy!” he crowed.
“It was a mistake,” I mumbled, trying to grab the tape measure from him.
He held it out of my reach.
“How much did you bet?”
“I don’t bet on such things.” I crossed my arms.
“Oh really?” he drawled. “Someone as competitive as you? I don’t believe it. Tell me.”
I blew out a breath. “Ten inches.”
“I’m offended,” he said, pressing a hand to his chest.
I threw up my hands. “That is above average while still being in the realm of possibility.”
“My friends thought you’re thirteen, which is just insane,” I scoffed.
“I bet I’m thirteen,” he said.
“No, you’re not.”
He began to take off his clothes. “We’re gonna find out right now.”
“I’m not measuring your dick,” I said flatly.
Chris grinned at me. “I thought you said you were used to catering to unreasonable people.”
“This is nuts,” I complained as he stripped off his clothes.
“You have to get undressed too,” he told me.
“I’m not participating.”
“I need to see your tits and that wet pussy,” he murmured, tossing his pants aside. “That’s the only way I’m going to give my best effort.”
I was starting to get a little wet seeing that perfect body in front of me with the broad chest, the rippling biceps, the washboard abs that transformed into a perfect V that lead to…gulp.
Chris tugged at the hem of my shirt and lifted it over my head.
“Damn, your tits are amazing,” he breathed, nuzzling them. He unclipped my bra and sucked and teased my nipples, making me moan.
“I’m supposed to be making you all hot and bothered,” I reminded him.
With that, I dipped my head and ran my tongue over the head of his cock.