it. His “business” was a hard no for me. And even though I loved him, it wasn’t enough to cover his transgressions.
But what was I supposed to do about it now?
I had accepted him for who he was, without knowing what he did, but whenever I’d look at CeeCee or Ryan, the disappointment would run high. Then I’d remember how he made her laugh when she’d stuffed the pie in his mouth. How he had growled at her and she had growled back. Like a normal kid who had no problems. The world was her friend. A good place to be.
I was in a sticky fucking situation and didn’t know how to get out of it, or how to make it better. He still hadn’t said a word to me either way. And I refused to bring it up. If he straight-out admitted it to me, I wasn’t sure how I was going to cope with living with him—a man who distributed addictions to people who couldn’t say no to them, after he acted like his community was worth killing for.
So I kept my distance from him.
Even after The Blood Queen had run its course and was coming to a close, our contact was limited. Something was going on that made me anxious.
Cash started acting different. More paranoid. He sent me with Harrison on a regular basis, having me sleep at his place, or at one of the other houses—safe houses—he owned in the city. Maureen would come so I could stay close to the kids. They kept me busy for the most part, which helped, because sometimes I missed him so much I physically ached for him.
And when he didn’t show up for dinner some nights?
The grip I had on the television remote bit into my palm. I was watching some fucking sappy romantic movie that I was mad at myself for even putting on. I sighed, resting my head against the sofa, closing my eyes.
Maureen had taken the kids to the zoo. Harrison was at work, but I was going to meet him at home soon. And Raff? I wasn’t sure where he was, but I hadn’t seen him a lot lately. I assumed it was because his boss was in more trouble than ever and needed four eyes instead of two.
That left…me. And the thought of the marauding bastard.
I took out my cellphone and stared at it. What would I say if I called him? I hate what you do but I love you more. Which makes me want to hurt you like you’re hurting me?
My phone lit up, interrupting my thoughts, and my heart started to beat faster. Then it calmed some.
“Hey,” I said to Mari, resting my head against the sofa again.
“Come over,” she said. “I have some cake.”
“Cake?”
“The best. You have to try it.” She paused. “Thirty minutes?”
“I’ll be there.”
I had to get out. The silence in the “safe” house was starting to sound like a dripping faucet.
Just from the tone of Mari’s voice, I could tell something was going on with her, too. Knowing what I did about her husband and his business, it was no surprise that she was probably dealing with some shit, too.
I chirped the alarm on the car Cash had given me. He told me to consider it a wedding gift. He was sick of seeing my old car collecting rust on the street. It was a beautiful candy-colored green Corvette Stingray. It had tinted windows, and its black rims had matching green strips on the inside.
It was the most beautiful car I’d ever seen, apart from the family-safe car he bought for Maureen and me to use when we were transporting the kids around.
But in that moment, I needed fast. I needed free. Maybe I even needed to feel a little young.
Mari was waiting outside when I pulled up to her place. I shut the car off, but she waved her hands, signaling for me not to get out. She was racing to get in on the other side. Once she was, I took off, faster than she was expecting. Her head hit the seat. At least this time, though, we could take off. With my old car, we could’ve outrun it on foot.
“Okay.” I eyed my rearview mirror, making sure we were not being followed. “Why are we running from your house?”
“I...need a break. I don’t feel like being surrounded by men today.”
“Ooh. The honeymoon is over. Let the games begin!”