Man's Best Friend (The Dogmothers #5) - Roxanne St. Claire Page 0,32
waved his hand. “Produce a baby.”
“Well, why the heck not?”
Was she serious? “For one thing, we’ve barely said ten words to each other in twenty years.”
“Whose fault is that?”
“Mine,” he said without hesitation. “I couldn’t…I didn’t…I had to…”
She angled her head. “Use your words, little boy.”
He muttered a dark curse.
“Not that word.”
“Ella, I screwed up, okay? When Dad died, I…” I died, too. “I struggled. And whether you like it or not, I had to hold things together for the five of us. I couldn’t go running after Evie.”
She rolled her eyes dramatically. “I’ll have a side of weak sauce with that chicken.”
“Ella.”
“Come on, Declan. I get it. You broke down and freaked out. Connor became a cocky jerk. Braden buried himself in books. I…” She shook her head. “We all handled it differently. And you pulled away from the woman you closely associated with the pain.”
He frowned as the words hit, and there was no way to argue with them.
“I mean, she lives in the house where Dad died. That’s not an easy thing to get over.”
She lived in Raleigh, to be perfectly accurate, but was Ella far from the truth? “Yeah, maybe.” And why couldn’t he say those words to Evie?
“But it’s been twenty years, Dec. We’ve all had to move on and have lives. Dad would hate you missing out on a great thing because she reminds you of how he died. Or you have some weird misplaced guilt because you weren’t at that fire. You think you’d have gone in first? A newbie like you were?”
He leaned back, eyeing her. “How’d you get so smart, Smella?”
She grinned. “I’ve always been the smartest one of the bunch, but so pretty…” She put her fingers under her chin and fluttered her lashes. “That y’all forgot to notice.”
“I notice.”
“And your smart sister says you”—she aimed her finger at his face—“are the daddiest guy I know.”
“The…I don’t know what the hell that means.”
“It means you’re a natural. You’re the guy who made sure every door was locked and all lights were off when everyone went to bed.”
Because that’s what their father did, and someone had to do it for the Mahoney family.
“You’re the one who handles the barbecue and makes sure everyone has helmets on when we go muddin’.”
“Because no one else can make a decent steak, and hello, I’m a firefighter. Safety first.”
“And I’ve seen you when kids crawl all over the pumper truck on field day. You love kids. Every time you’re near one of the little ones in the family, your eyes light up.”
“Probably because Danny’s tearing my hair out.”
She laughed. “True. But you know what I’m saying. There’s a daddy living in that big ol’ chest, and honest to God, Dec, you were more fun when Evie was around. I’m all for bringing back that Declan.”
“You were twelve.”
She shrugged. “And you used to make me laugh so hard I snorted milk out of my nose at the dinner table.”
“You’re confusing me with Connor.”
All humor faded from her face. “No. I’m not. You could hold your own with Connor in the joke department. And the fun department. And the…okay, not the girl department. But probably because you were so wrapped up in Evie, you never practiced.”
Was all that true? “Look, I get your point. I’ve changed. But back to the problem at hand. I can’t be a part of…a baby.”
“Then sign over complete custody,” she suggested, like it was as easy as cashing a check. “Let her raise a baby alone.”
That would be worse. Way worse. Unthinkably worse. “And then there would be my offspring in the world, and I’d want to know that child and be involved in their life.”
She shrugged. “So do that.”
“But we’re not married.”
“Welllll…” She dragged out the word and waggled her brows.
“Ella, come on.”
“Okay, okay.” She held up both hands to stop his arguments. “It’s not traditional, I get it. And if you ask me, probably not what Gramma Finnie had in mind when she sent you for croissants.”
He choked softly. “Nothing in this family is a secret, is it?”
“Nothing.”
“Well, this is, Ella,” he said sternly. “I don’t need an army of my siblings and cousins and step…things coming at me telling me to…you know.”
“Produce.” She cracked up. “Or I guess I should say reproduce.”
“This isn’t funny.”
“Only a little.” She came around the counter to make her point by putting her hands on his shoulders. “Why don’t you stop thinking about what you want and think about Dr. Evangeline Hewitt?”