Man's Best Friend (The Dogmothers #5) - Roxanne St. Claire Page 0,106
it. Even she knew when he was about to fall into the basement. “Look, that guy—”
“That guy put into words what we all know,” she said. “Every time you doubt, every time you miss him, every time you come near here…you’ll be plagued.”
“No, I won’t,” he insisted. “I’m just now beginning to appreciate this house. And it’s a part of you. Why do you think I was fighting so hard to get rid of some jerk who wants to buy it?”
“And calling for investigation files and lists of people who were here that night?”
“I want to find out why my dad made the choice he made, that’s all.”
She let out a sigh, soft enough to draw him closer.
“Please, Evie. Please.” He reached for her. “Were you looking for me?”
“I went back to my room for a moment, and when I came out, I saw you leave, and I was curious, and…I heard your conversation. Enough of it, anyway.”
“You heard the words, Evie, but you don’t know what I’m thinking.”
She looked up at him, sighing. “I’m not pregnant.”
He felt his jaw loosen as a sucker punch of disappointment hit, but he hit it right back. “That’s okay. We’ll try—”
She shook her head, tears welling. “And I’ve been offered the job as dean of the vet school at NC State.”
Now his jaw actually fell open. “Holy…wow. Evie. That’s…huge.”
“It is,” she acknowledged. “And kind of what I’ve been working for my whole life.”
“Yeah.” He nodded, disappointment rising up like bile. “I know it is.”
“Actually, you don’t know, because…you weren’t there for the last twenty years.”
“Evie.” He could practically feel his heart break. “I told you how sorry—”
“I know you are. And I believe you, Dec. I do.” She pressed her hands to her cheeks as if she wished she could stop herself but couldn’t. “But can I give you my life and my heart and my soul and live in constant fear that one day you’ll just…disappear? Can I subject a child to that kind of emotional rejection? I’m scared, Dec. I don’t want to relive that pain every time you relive yours.”
The words sliced right through him. Because on some deep level—as deep as that emotional cellar he liked to avoid—she might be right. He didn’t respond, but just stared at her, paralyzed as he’d been for the most of the past twenty years. Words once again all sounded pathetic and hollow. Instead, he stood frozen, falling into the abyss.
“I’m going back to the party,” she said on a sad sigh, turning to head to the back door.
“I’ll go with you.” He took a few steps, then paused, watching her cloud of silk float toward the door. “I’ll go with you anywhere, E,” he added on a whisper, but she didn’t hear him.
Chapter Twenty-six
From the moment Evie woke the next morning, one single thought echoed in her head: I am a flipping idiot.
Yes, she’d overheard bits of a conversation that upset her. And yes, the tone in Declan’s voice had dragged her back to the dark days, when she couldn’t get eye contact from him, let alone honesty about his feelings. And yes, stress from the job offer and the party, combined with the bone-deep disappointment from discovering she was indeed not pregnant…all had had her off in search of comfort from Declan.
Then she’d watched him outside the sunroom, reliving his father’s last moments, fighting tears…and all her fears swamped her. But now, in the light of day on the morning of the parade, common sense prevailed. She wasn’t taking that job. She wasn’t living in fear. She wasn’t giving up on their dreams.
And she had to tell him that.
She even changed the plan of having the parade convertible pick her and Granddaddy up at home, in case she needed her car to drive around to find Declan.
She huffed out a sigh, getting a look from Granddaddy as she walked him from the parking lot behind the bookstore, where she’d been more than mildly disappointed not to see Declan’s truck. It was a short stroll across Bushrod Square toward the parade staging area, but maybe not short for her ninety-two-year-old grandfather.
“Too much, Granddaddy?” she asked when he slowed a bit. “I should have gotten Grandmama’s old wheelchair.”
“In front of the whole town? I told you we should have brought Judah, and then no one would notice how slow I’m going.”
“He’s not ready for an outing like this,” she said. “And now I’m starting to worry that maybe you aren’t, either.”