The Man Who Has No Sight - Victoria Quinn Page 0,27
the week. I’ll pick up Derek.”
A lot of my clients had nannies. It was a way of life. My girls were good people who were passionate about their jobs, but Deacon obviously wanted to be a hands-on father. Though, he also wanted to be completely dedicated to his career. He was realizing that was impossible. “Okay.” Now it was quiet, the two of us sitting at the table in tense silence. Our weekend had been wonderful, with lots of romance and hot sex, and now it was bumpy again. I didn’t mean to make it that way, but I couldn’t give him what he wanted…this time.
He turned back to me, his arms folded on the table. “You talk about wanting to have a family with me.”
My heart raced when I heard what he said, unsure where that statement would go.
“In that scenario, are you still working?”
“I…I don’t know. I honestly haven’t thought that far ahead.”
He watched me, his eyes absorbent, taking in my expressions like words.
“Why?”
“I imagine you being home with our kids. But I guess you feel differently about that.”
“I love my job.”
“But it’s long hours, weekends, and nights…” His eyes started to fill with accusation.
“Well, your job has long hours, weekends, and nights.”
He clenched his jaw tightly like he wanted to say something but swallowed it instead. “This conversation is pointless because it’s not our reality, but it’s unrealistic to have two parents who are both slaves to their jobs. Something’s gotta give. If we have a nanny, then neither one of us will ever spend time with them. It just wouldn’t make sense at that point.”
I tried not to take offense to his words, to interpret them in a sexist way, but he was right. If I did want to have a family someday, I would have to step away from my job, at least for a few years. I couldn’t run around like crazy while I had a couple babies at home, being raised by a woman who wasn’t even their mother. If I didn’t want to spend time with them, why did I have them? And Deacon’s job was more important than mine at the end of the day.
“We don’t have to have kids either,” he said. “If we’re fulfilled by our jobs, then it’s not necessary—”
“No…I want to.”
He studied me for a few more seconds before he nodded. “I’ve learned to step away from work and enjoy life, because of you. I’ve learned that, while I’m passionate about my work and fighting against the clock, there are more important things in life…like you guys. I’m not accusing you of feeling differently, but that’s something you might want to think about yourself.”
I lowered my gaze, knowing I never did that with my ex.
“I understand Derek is not your son, and it was unfair to assume you would take care of him in my absence. I won’t let that happen again. But if you ever change your mind…I’d like you to be the only person with him.”
“What about your mother?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I don’t want to burden her with babysitting. She already raised Tucker and me. It’s time for her to enjoy her life.”
I smiled, finding that sweet.
“And I don’t think she could handle watching him that much. She’s nice and nurturing, but she’s not as patient as she used to be. Honestly, you’re better with him than I am sometimes.”
“Now, that’s just not true. You’re the best parent I’ve ever seen.”
He shook his head. “I try to be better every day, but I always fuck up.”
My eyes softened. “You only fuck up because you’re shooting for perfection…and you’ll never be perfect.”
He stared at the table for a while, his eyes fatigued after the long day at the office. He didn’t always work insane hours like this, but it did come up at least once a week.
It made me appreciate Valerie, because she was always able to take Derek. She rarely needed to drop him off so she could have her alone time. She didn’t have a job or any other responsibilities, but that made her an ideal parent. Giving Deacon the cold shoulder inadvertently proved how much work she did with Derek, even though that probably wasn’t her intention.
He turned to me. “Are we okay?”
It was our first domestic fight, and we handled it pretty well. Deacon was much better at understanding other people, self-monitoring his actions, and trying to see the perspective of the person on the other side of the argument. “We’re