the earth-shattering click came, when he made sense of my behavior, his eyes softened, and it made me want to strike out even harder.
Instead, I snatched my bag from beside the bed and headed for the bathroom. I paused with my hand on the doorknob. “You want me. You don’t. You really just don’t want anyone else with me. Go, Brando. Just. Go.”
I slammed the door shut, locking it, and then threw the bag to the floor. A few deep breaths and then I decided on a hot shower. I sat under the spray until the water ran cold, my skin turned blue, and my jaw started to chatter.
I dressed in blue thermal pajamas to match. I braided my hair three times—wanting to get the braid just right, so the next day my hair would be wavier than usual. I brushed and flossed my teeth longer than necessary. Applied moisturizer and the soft-scented rose cream Maja Resnik had always given me.
All of this so that he would have an ample amount of time to leave.
My knees hit his when I stepped out of the door. He had placed a kitchen chair in front of the bathroom. He grabbed my wrists before I could sidestep him. Standing at his full height, he pinned me against the nearest wall, raising my wrists to each side of my head, looking down at me with eyes that burned.
“Listen to me.”
“I don’t need a lecture,” I said, my wrists itching to fight his hold, but in the end, I didn’t. If I asked him to let me go, I knew he would. All I had to do was the say the word. Yet. I couldn’t. Didn’t.
Despite my mind's protests, my body became a traitor. In that moment, all that I was knew that he'd use his body against me forevermore. Mine followed his absolutely.
Instead of fighting the impossible, I turned my face. What was hidden inside but had been exposed felt shameful, but not something that could be cured with burning alone. Even if he burned me, the contemptible parts of me created truth in the ashes.
“Look at me,” he ordered.
I did, but I gave it a few seconds before giving in.
“No.” His eyes searched mine. “You don’t need a lecture. Talking is fucking useless. It’s too soon for me to show you what you need.”
The breath I had been holding rushed out at his words; naïve didn’t mean simple. His meaning came across loud and clear. You want to play with me, Scarlett, keep it up, little girl. In this same vein, my reaction didn’t seem to matter to him. He plowed forward.
“Once,” he said, his tone final. “I won’t do this again, Scarlett. Understand?”
He waited for my consent, but I didn’t give it. His stare grew even hotter.
“Janet—”
“Jane, her name is Jane—”
He wasn’t impressed with the correction. He went forward, the look on his face even more intense. I worried about the vein on his forehead. “Jane came late last night with more people. She had been looking for me. She couldn’t find me. End of story.”
“W-where were you?” I stammered. I hated that I did. I hated that, all of a sudden, he held all of me in his hands. Therefore, he had the power to break me into irrevocable pieces.
“Watching this place.”
“This cabin?”
“Yeah,” he said. “You left the other cabin at three in the morning. It’s secluded back here. It’s dark. All of these boys roaming around didn’t sit well with me. And I needed some time to cool off before I came to you. Being outside in the darkness, watching this place, thinking, settled me.”
Time to cool off. The Italian men at the diner. Ace. Sheriff Stone. He wasn’t all that settled when he came to me, when he had asked me if I had felt tough. I wondered what he would have been like immediately afterward?
“Scarlett.” He called my name, bringing my attention back to the matter at hand.
“Yes?”
“Trust me. I’ve never given you a reason not to.”
Relief flooded me, because for whatever reason, I believed him. Without the dark clouds of doubt, I felt his truth. It took me a moment to answer. “All right,” I whispered. “I do.”
“That’s all I ask.”
“You are insane,” I said, sniffing, though no tears fell. “Sleeping out in the cold.”
A growl vibrated deep in this throat. “You. You drive me fucking insane.” He freed my wrists and pulled me towards him in what seemed like one breath. I collapsed against his chest,