open his door, bright light flooding the interior, and stepped out underneath the glow of a star hanging over the station.
Once he was inside the store, tucked away by the coffee machines, I lurched open the door and vomited. My body had nothing to give, but the reaction was there nonetheless. By the time he reached the truck again, he was howling and hooting and telling me it was time to haul ass.
He sped out of the parking lot, engine roaring, tires squealing and smoking, leaving the old station behind in the dust of the road.
In the rearview mirror I caught a glance at a man running out of the store, eyes narrowed, a gun in his hands.
Four paper bags sat between us. The coffee sat in a dashboard holder.
He dumped the first bag out. It was filled with beef jerky and gum. He dumped the next bag. Two bottles of water rolled toward me. He patted the seat, looking for the third. I shoved it at him. He dumped it out. A gun. The next bag held nothing but green.
“Why’d you do it?” I found that my voice came out even, confident, not as jerky as I felt. I remembered what Violet had told me about Ace. That he came from money. But why steal when you have the world?
Ace snorted. “Why not?”
His answer encapsulated the sum of him.
“Are you ready to dance, darlin’?” He gave me a sideways glance, the lights of the passing cars twinkling in the darkness of his eyes.
“I thought that’s what we did just now. Dance.”
He threw back his head, like he had done after he robbed the store, and laughed. “No.” He shook his head, sighing. “That was just the warm-up number.”
“He’s listening, isn’t he?” Violet breathed heavily into the receiver.
She had caught me leaving with him at school. She warned me. She begged me not to go. She told me that I’d be sorry. She warned me that a guy like Ace Mcafee was not the type to play truth or dare with and then pick dare. And then have Brando take care of the dare for me.
I had picked dare. I had flirted with danger to tempt fate.
“Scarlett?”
I stretched the payphone wire so that I could keep an eye on Ace. He sat on the curb before the roadside motel, smoking a cigarette with a look on his face close to ecstasy, watching me.
To escape his stare, I turned my eyes up to a sky filled with more stars than I had ever seen.
Even though the stars might be dead, we can still see their light.
The usual comfort I found in them didn’t seem to exist anymore. Death and ends seemed rife in my life. The twinkling lights seemed like a mean trick to disguise a make-believe heaven.
Instead, I focused on a streetlight emitting a dull haze against the night, and all of the moths wanting a taste of the pretend warmth. They’d die for just a taste, wouldn’t they? Even if it turned out to be a fake version of the real thing.
Some of us can’t help the natural wiring of our makeup, I thought. We’re drawn to what we’re made of, and no matter if it ends up killing us, we’ll always want one more chance at it.
“Scarlett!” Violet’s harsh tone cut through my thoughts.
“Yes.”
“Is Ace listening?”
“Yes.”
“I’m scared for you, Sandy.”
“I’m not.”
“I know,” she sighed. “You’ve always been that way. Once you commit, you see it through. You’ll ride it out until the ride is over, no matter how scary.”
“There are worse things than death, Violet. Separation from what we love, for one. I never wanted any of this. None of it.” I wasn’t sure if I was talking about being born, dancing, or love. Somehow all three were tangled up in a knot for me.
“Scarlett, come home. Just come home.”
“Not now.”
She hesitated but continued. “It’s bad here too, Scarlett.”
“My parents?”
“Yes. No. It’s Brando.”
“Oh.”
“He’s gone mad. I mean, truly, deeply mad. He almost overturned Stone’s desk. He wanted them to file a missing person’s report. I…I told them. I told them that you left with Ace. I’ve never been more afraid in my life of a person than I was of Brando when I had to tell him. Mick made me. Mick tried to follow Ace after you left with him, but Ace lost him. Stone said that they couldn’t file a report. It was too soon. You’re of age, so…”