Make Me - Tessa Bailey Page 0,75
and it also made her want to laugh.
But there was something. A tenacious . . . something, pacing in the background. Russell’s words echoed as they’d done in the shower, pinging off the insides of her skull before finally sticking. Everything is going to be okay now, Abby. No more games, okay? Everything is fixed now, okay? Before today, she’d known Russell was holding back something from her. She’d known. It was a familiar feeling.
And she’d grown sick of it. Resentful, even. This morning had been her first step toward never feeling in the dark again. Taking control of her future. Owning her actions instead of other people’s owning them for her. Hearing that Russell had “fixed” everything and it would all be okay . . . God, she was afraid to hear the rest. They had no choice but to talk about it, though. Impending dread made the bathroom seem darker, the steam thicker. Abby wanted to stay wrapped in his arms forever, but the longer she did, her chances of staying strong began to wane.
She laid a kiss on his bicep and eased away, wrapping a towel around her body on the way to shutting off the shower water. Feeling Russell’s eyes on her, she pushed open the fogged-glass window to let the steam out and turned to face him. “I’m ready to talk now.”
“Okay.” He stood very still, obviously not caring about his nudity. Really, his confidence was entirely justified. It took a considerable effort on Abby’s part not to stare at his sculpted thighs, his ridged abdomen. He was incredible, but his expression was anything but cocky. No, he looked wary. “You going to stand across the room while we talk, Abby? Because I have to tell you, it makes me nervous. Makes me wonder if you’re going to listen.”
“I’m listening.” She pushed her wet hair back, an attempt to distract herself from the foreboding using her heart as a trampoline. “But if you hold me while we talk, it could turn out different.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” He stooped down and grabbed his boxer briefs, cursed to find them still damp, and dragged his jeans on without underwear. His forehead was marred as he completed the jerky actions, as if mentally preparing. When the task was complete, he faced her, bare-chested. “I got the business loan. I took your suggestion and reworked my ten-year plan into five—and I got it.”
“Oh my God.” Giant bird wings flapped in her chest. Happiness for her friend, and the man she loved. “That’s amazing. Why didn’t you say—” She pressed both hands to her cheeks. “You must be so excited. All the ways you can improve and expand. I—”
“Abby.” He looked almost pained by her enthusiasm. “I did it for us. Maybe it makes me an underachiever, but the business is a distant second to you. Everything is.”
“I don’t understand,” she murmured, even though the picture was beginning to clear, just like the fog in the bathroom. “For us?”
His chest rose and fell with a heavy intake of breath. A bracing breath. “I know what kind of life you’re used to, angel. Comfortable. Happy. I can give it to you now, okay? I couldn’t before, so I kept away. Kept you away. Just until I was sure. I needed to be sure.” He took a step closer. “But I fixed everything. I’m going to work hard and give you everything you could ever ask for. If you’ll just trust me and give me the chance.”
It was almost too much to process at once, but some part of her had been prepared. With each realization that rushed in, she berated herself for not seeing. Not knowing. “Russell . . . I don’t need the kind of life my parents have. I don’t want it—”
“You say that now,” he interrupted, taking a step toward her. “And I know you believe it, too. But I’ve seen what happens when someone settles. When someone gets stuck. I didn’t want that to be you. I couldn’t fucking bear it.”
“So this whole time, you wanted to be with me . . . but the money stopped you?” He nodded, the intensity in his eyes robbing her of oxygen. One masculine hand reached out for her, but she stepped back. “Was it your lack of money . . . or the fact that I have too much?”
His hesitation told her the answer. “Both.” He tried to shrug, but his shoulders seemed so tense, it came off