Make Me - Tessa Bailey Page 0,53

to be. Abby didn’t realize she’d closed her eyes until Russell finally spoke, forcing them open. “Look at me, angel.” She leaned back and did as he asked, gulping in the face of such intensity. “Look at how fucked-up I am. You can’t even go for a walk without my being convinced the world is going to swallow you up. It’s not normal.”

Abby tried to interject—with what, she wasn’t sure—but he cut her off.

“There’s a reason.” His muscles tensed against her. “It’s not good enough. Nothing excuses the way I act when it comes to you. Remember that, okay?” He sucked in a breath. “I lost someone. My mother. She . . . died. It was a long time ago, but I remember what it felt like. It could have been prevented if we’d just found a way to make her feel better. And it’s not right, Abby, it’s not right, but I have to make sure I don’t feel that way ever again. You’re the only one who could make me. The only one.”

The taste of salt invaded Abby’s mouth, a mixture of tears and the surrounding ocean. Russell’s pain harpooned past her ribs and struck deep. She hadn’t been the only one keeping a secret, and it killed her. Killed her knowing he’d been harboring it on his own. She wanted to ask how his mother died, but the hurt radiating from him was already so profound, she couldn’t find the words. Instead, she clung to him like her life depended on it, laying kisses on his collarbone and neck, whispering comfort that only made sense to them.

“There’s more, Abby. She—my mother—would still be around if . . . if maybe she’d had a hero. I don’t know . . .”

Russell trailed off, and Abby waited, but he didn’t finish his thought. She didn’t want him to. She could practically feel the wounds gaping on his flesh where it pressed against her. He’d opened up enough for one night. The need to heal and distract rising within her was so powerful, it was almost visible in the air surrounding them.

She had the ability to make him forget his pain tonight. Always, if he’d let her. Hadn’t every secret shared, every touch exchanged, been leading to this moment? Heat tickled her belly, thinking of how Russell had been in the guest room, how in control he’d been . . . and all the while, just a hint out of control. Craving the experience again, needing to soothe the memories they’d dug up, Abby didn’t second-guess herself as she trailed her tongue up the side of Russell’s neck, breathing against his ear.

“Now tell me why you don’t want to push me away.”

Chapter 14

RUSSELL SLIPPED A hand down Abby’s back, over her slick bathing suit. He wanted to peel off the tight nylon and see his girl naked in the moonlight, feel her bare ass in his grip, but he forced his hand into a fist at the base of her spine. And breathed. Which was a mistake because she smelled like white grapes with a hint of tequila. Naughty and nice, wrapped around his body, ready to give him everything.

She was giving him an out, this sweet, beautiful girl he loved. He really shouldn’t take it. Should come clean about everything. His insecurity over her money, his failed attempts to close that financial gap, his plan to try one final time. The reality of his family life . . . how that family had broken apart. Hell, he’d already chipped away at the dam, telling her something he hadn’t even told his friends. It had felt good. Right. Would he feel better for spilling everything?

“Russell,” she murmured at his mouth, obliterating his concentration. “Tell me the reason you can’t push me away.”

His heart drummed faster and faster, matching his breath. Jesus Christ. He knew what was coming, knew she would offer herself to him tonight. On a regular basis, he felt unworthy of Abby, but right now? Right now, she looked like some exotic mermaid, glowing under the night sky, the ocean as her backdrop. She wasn’t something a man like him was allowed to experience. A painfully sexy virgin, tempting him to fuck her on some rich man’s beach. It was like a pornographic postcard. Or it would be if he wasn’t prepared to die for this girl at the prompting of one, single word from her mouth.

“You know why I can’t stay away, angel. Work your hips up,