Make Me - Tessa Bailey Page 0,39

on par with her own. They’d spoken about their summers in Southampton only briefly but had laughed over the fact that they might have been at some of the same parties as children. Honey stepped inside, her jaw dropping. Ben pushed it back up with a single finger and leaned in to kiss the back of her neck. Abby turned to find Russell hovering just outside the door, as if deciding whether or not to come inside.

Unease swarmed in her belly. Russell had never voiced discomfort over her family’s abundance of money, but she’d always sensed it beneath the surface, seen him tense up when someone else picked up the tab at dinner. Now, though, seeing his hesitancy even to step past the threshold, she wondered how deep it ran. Over the last week, she’d started to question just how much Russell kept hidden.

Seeing him so indecisive to take that single step toward her was hard, so Abby turned away and followed her friends into the kitchen. True to form, Louis and Roxy were already taking stock of the liquor in every cabinet, lining the bottles up on the counter. Ben had his arms wrapped around Honey as they stared out at the ocean view.

Their excitement gave Abby a moment to get her bearings. She hadn’t ventured to Southampton since high school for a reason. The time she’d spent here growing up had been lonely. Blending into the colorless walls while parties swirled through the rooms. Not knowing how to include herself in conversations or even feeling interesting enough to do so.

Then “the incident” had taken place.

Something had felt different when she’d woken up that morning. She’d had a dream where she’d run screaming down the pristine Southampton beach, everyone staring at her and whispering behind their hands. She’d twirled and twirled and kicked up sand, not caring a single bit. Enjoying their criticism and that of her parents. When she woke from the vivid dream, her pulse had still been racing with the thrill. She hadn’t wanted to let go, wanted to hold on as long as possible. If she called the image of rebellious Abby to mind, she found she could breathe in the giant mausoleum of a house.

So when her stepmother demanded she attend a stuffy, all-adult luncheon at the local country club—an activity where she would be prodded about her future, her weight, her clothing—she’d nearly broken out in hives. Her stepmother’s face when she said no was still perfectly detailed in her mind. And how it had looked afterward, when Abby started flinging breakfast plates across the kitchen, crushing china beneath her sensible ballet flats, shouting in a voice she couldn’t recognize, but it had felt so good.

Until the following morning, when she’d woken to find her parents gone. A vacation from their vacation, which she’d known meant they’d needed a break from her. It was that morning she realized how easily people left. Summer-camp friends, classmates, parents. Once you cracked and revealed a nonfunctioning part, they bailed.

Days had passed during those summers where she hadn’t been required to speak a single word. Silence had been a running theme that followed her into adulthood. Until recently. No more, though. When she spoke now, her friends listened. Her mother. Russell. She wasn’t that shy, awkward girl who’d learned to keep her opinion or any form of protest to herself. This weekend, she would replace the beige memories inside these walls with ones she could be proud of.

Abby pushed the handle of her suitcase down and tossed the house key onto the counter. “So. Are we walking to the beach or hanging at the pool out back today?”

“Can we drink at the beach?” Roxy asked over her shoulder.

“Nope.”

“Poolside gets this girl’s vote.”

Honey hopped onto one of the stools surrounding the breakfast bar. “Seconded. I just have to change into my bathing suit.”

“And I just have to assist her,” Ben deadpanned.

“You’re such a giver, man.” Louis flipped a stack of red, Solo cups in his hand. “Who’s having a margarita?”

Five hands went up just as Russell walked into the kitchen. “What are we voting on?”

Abby tried not to let her relief over his appearance show. “Alcohol. What else?”

“Count me in, but make it light. Wouldn’t want to get lost in this place.”

There was just enough of an edge to Russell’s voice to give everyone pause. Abby watched a silent communication pass between Ben and Louis, but it happened so fast, Abby wondered if it had been inside her