Make Me Bad - R.S. Grey Page 0,72
gods and we’re just your playthings, here for your amusement.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Yeah? I seem to remember you being quite the asshole back in high school. You’re telling me you’ve really changed since then? That you’re not the same rich punk who used people however he liked?”
I throw my hands up, indignant. “Jesus, that was more than a decade ago. You think I’m still running around doing the same old shit?”
I used to think Sum 41 was the pinnacle of music. I thought long surfer hair and puka shell necklaces were going to be around forever. He can’t be serious right now. I was eighteen and stupid.
“I’m not the same person I was then.”
“Why are you messing with her?” he asks, gaze turning back to me.
“I’m not.”
“To you, people like Madison don’t matter. Not really.”
A trigger flips inside me and I’m in front of him, right in his face before I realize what I’m doing. I can smell the fucking coffee on his breath. I’m seconds away from grabbing hold of his collar and escalating this to a level neither of us want it to go to.
“She matters,” I say, so convincingly it’s like I’ve just chiseled the words into his chest.
He snorts derisively. “Yeah? Until when? Until another pretty girl catches your eye?”
I turn away to cool down, to regain some semblance of control.
I’m staring out at a tree in the parking lot. I stare so long my vision blurs and the leaves blend together into a mess of green, the exact color of Madison’s eyes.
“You think you deserve her?” he asks, voice nearly breaking. He sounds desperate. “What have you ever done in your life to deserve a girl like Madison? She’s good, Ben, better than you and me, and I won’t let you hurt her.”
When his car door slams and he peels out of the parking lot, I’m still staring out at that goddamn beautiful tree.
We accept the love we think we deserve. I’ve heard that before. Maybe I read it on the inside of a crinkled chocolate wrapper, I don’t know, but it’s stuck in my brain the rest of the day. In a sense, it’s true. It’s how I’ve operated in the past. This time, with Madison, I’m reaching. Colten asked what I’ve done to deserve her—what do any of us do to deserve love? Love should be given freely. I want Madison, and I think she wants me. I don’t know. Two days with no communication means a lot could have changed. Maybe her family finally convinced her to leave me in the dust.
Maybe she realized she could do much better than me. She could turn heads and break hearts if only she put herself out there.
The idea kills me.
I go by the library later that day prepared for two scenarios. I have a document waiting for Madison’s signature, outlining that I’ll be switching my volunteer location from the library to the soup kitchen. If things don’t go the way I want them to, I won’t keep forcing myself into her life. I’ll give her space.
I purposely wait to go see her until it’s nearly closing time. I hate having to go to her work at all for something like this, but I can’t show up at her dad’s house, so this is really my only option.
She’s not at her desk when I walk in. I ring the bell but there’s still no sign of her. I hear a heavy thunk, like a box of books getting shuffled around, and I head toward the hallway that leads to the storage room. That’s where she is, tidying up.
She doesn’t notice me at first. Her hands are on her hips as she surveys the space, deciding what to do next. She’s wearing the white sweater dress I love, the same boots she wore to the beach. Her hair hangs in dark undone curls and when I knock on the doorframe, she jerks around to face me and pushes some of it behind her ear.
She’s as perfect and angelic as I’ve ever seen her. Her skin is the exact shade of the cream I pour into my coffee.
She’s a goddess and I’m undeserving of her.
That’s what everyone thinks.
Her eyes light up when she sees me. She doesn’t know what this is about. Right now, she just thinks I’m here to see her.
Without a word, she turns and walks toward me. She doesn’t stop until she’s right in front of me, her boots hitting the toes