The Magpies A Psychological Thriller - By Mark Edwards Page 0,51
to be with forever. I’ve built my nest and nobody – nobody – is going to spoil it.
Just let them try.
‘There are conditions, though,’ Kirsty said, as he sat back down. ‘I don’t want a big ceremony. We’ll do it at the registry office, just us and a couple of witnesses. I’m not interested in that big so-called fairytale thing and, anyway, everyone would think it was a shotgun wedding. I know our parents will be upset, but, well, to be honest I don’t think they expect us to ever get married anyway. So they won’t really be missing out.’
‘Your dad will probably be pleased to save the money.’
‘Perhaps. And, anyway, it’s our day. I don’t want every aunt and uncle and second cousin I’ve never met gawping at me as I stumble up the aisle with my bump.’
Their meal arrived. It smelled delicious. Jamie dipped naan bread into his curry and took a bite. It was so hot it made his nose run. That was a good sign. If an Indian didn’t make his nose run it was too bland. When the waiter had brought the plates over, Jamie had asked for another pint of lager and a jug of water for Kirsty. They arrived now, and Jamie took a big gulp. He was so happy.
‘Who will we have as our witnesses?’ he asked through a mouthful of rice.
‘Heather for one, I guess. We could have had Heather and Paul.’
‘I know.’ He tutted sadly.
‘Even if he woke up tomorrow, we don’t know what sort of state he’d be in. It might take him months or years to recover. He might never recover, Jamie. You have to accept that.’
‘No. He will. I know he will. God, if he was here now he’d already be arranging a mental stag night for me, with strippers and handcuffs and lamp-posts and lethal quantities of alcohol. Instead, I’ll probably be at home with a nice cup of cocoa.’
‘Yes, and you won’t be getting married with a hangover, looking and feeling like shit.’
They fell silent, each lost in thoughts of Paul, and continued eating.
‘So who are we going to ask to be our witnesses?’
‘We could always drag a couple of strangers off the street.’
Jamie had an idea. ‘Hey, why don’t we go to Gretna Green? That would be really cool. It would be a really funny thing to do, don’t you think?’
Kirsty looked thoughtful.
‘What do you reckon? Will Heather be upset if we don’t ask her to be a witness?’
‘To be honest, I don’t know if she’d want to do it anyway. It might upset her too much. But yeah, Gretna Green’s an excellent idea. Something to tell our kids about. And I’ve never been to Scotland before.’
‘It’s a beautiful place.’
They beamed at each other over the table.
‘This is fantastic,’ said Jamie.
‘I know.’
‘And you’re pregnant.’
‘You’re right.’
‘And we’re going to get married.’
‘Bloody hell.’
Jamie paid for the meal, leaving a big tip for the waiter, and they stood up. Jamie wobbled a little, the alcohol sloshing around inside him. He looked over at Lucy and Chris, who had just started their main course. They seemed to be concentrating hard on their food so they wouldn’t have to look over at Jamie and Kirsty.
‘Wait here,’ Jamie said.
‘What are you . . ?’
Jamie walked across the restaurant and stopped by Lucy and Chris’s table. ‘Good evening,’ he said, looking from one of them to the other.
They didn’t respond. They just stared at their plates and carried on eating.
‘Enjoying your meal?’ Jamie asked. ‘The food’s very good here, isn’t it?’
Chris suddenly looked up and, to Jamie’s surprise, he smiled. His mouth was full, making the smile look grotesque, his cheeks bulging. ‘It’s delicious,’ he said, showing Jamie a mouthful of rice.
Feeling a bit sick, Jamie turned to Lucy. ‘Are you enjoying it too, Lucy?’
She put her fork down and said, ‘You’re drunk. And you’re embarrassing yourself.’
‘Embarrassing myself? I don’t think so. How could I embarrass myself in front of you two? After all, we share our most intimate moments with you. And I have every right to be drunk.’ He held on to the back of Lucy’s chair and leaned forward. ‘We’re having a baby.’
Lucy and Chris didn’t react. Jamie interpreted this as a stunned silence.
‘Yes. We’re pregnant. And who knows – maybe you’ve got the moment of conception on your PC.’
The waiter appeared by Jamie’s side. ‘Is everything alright here?’ he asked.
Jamie put his arm around the waiter’s shoulder and breathed beer fumes all over him. ‘Everything’s fine, mate.