to leave things like this with you, but Alex and I have to get out of Savannah. We need to clear our heads, and we can’t do it here. I can’t tell Mom, because she’ll be angry, so will you? I hate to ask you, but if I talk to her, she’ll just try to stop me. I’ll e-mail when I can. I know you, H, and I know you’re going to blame yourself, but there’s nothing you could have done. By the time you get this message, we’ll already be gone. I love you.”
The message ends. Hayes plays it again, and then she looks up at her grandmother. “Why would she do this?” Hayes asks.
“I don’t know, sweetness,” Sybil says. “But I do know that Dorothy Lee’s granddaughter is not your friend. She may act like it, but she’s playing a dangerous game with your brother. I know these things can be confusing, but there is one thing you can always trust, and that’s family. You hold on to your family and you’ll always know which way is up.”
Sybil takes her granddaughter in her arms as Hayes begins to cry.
“I hate her,” Hayes says. “How could she do this?”
“Some people just aren’t right,” Sybil says, smoothing Hayes’s hair. “Some people think they can push and push, and they don’t ever expect other people to push back.”
“If that’s what Alex thinks,” Hayes says, her tears starting to dry, “she’s going to be surprised. Because I’ll push back. I’ll push back hard.”
The ball is still in full swing when I get back.
“Where were you?” Madison demands. If I’m not mistaken, she almost seems a little suspicious.
“I took a walk. Have you seen my grandmother?”
“Um, is Orang-Anna wearing your MiuMius?”
“I gave ’em to her,” I say, spotting my grandmother and making a beeline for her before my nerves fail. She is sitting on a fainting couch and talking with someone I was introduced to in the receiving line but whose name I can’t remember.
“Miss Lee,” I interrupt.
My grandmother looks up at me coldly. “Alexandria,” she says.
“I’m sorry for the way I acted before,” I say. “I’m a teenager. We’re flighty and irrational.”
“I see. Excuse me,” she says to her companion. Then she stands up and walks toward the bar.
I follow her. “I’m ready to do this,” I tell her. And it pours out of me in a rush. “I’m tired of fighting you. I’m tired of complaining about Savannah and threatening to leave. I’m not like my mother. I’m not going anywhere.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Madison and Dexter trailing us. Hayes is coming from the other direction.
“You’re a young lady now,” she says. “A Magnolia debutante. The time for being ‘a teenager’ is over. You’re expected to be a woman of quality and character. I don’t think you can do that. I’m sorry, Alexandria, but you are right in one respect: You’re not like your mother at all. She had iron in her spine. You’re merely unhappy. She had character; you have whims. She believed in something. You’re just selfish.”
She asks for a vodka on the rocks. My grandmother believes that brown liquor is for men and lesbians.
“I know.” I want to argue with her. I want to prove her wrong, but there’s too much at stake, and so I swallow my pride. “I know. But I’m different now.”
“No,” she says, sipping her vodka. “You’re not different. You’re just wanting something. And even if you think you are serious, as soon as the wind changes direction, you’ll decide you want something else and off you’ll go. No, Alexandria. You’ve taught me not to put much stock in what you say, because tomorrow you’re liable to be singing a different tune.”
I didn’t come this far to let it end here. But how do I prove myself to her? And then I have an idea.
I turn to where Hayes is pretending not to eavesdrop. As I walk toward her, I unfasten the Fear Not to Walk Over Evil.
“You’re too smart to stay in Savannah all your life,” I say, and I hang the chain around her neck. I thought I would feel panic when I lost my only protection, but suddenly I feel calm. I feel right. “Your brother told me about this awesome summer program at Oxford. You should do it. You’re free now.”
Hayes just stares at me with hard eyes. Of course she’s confused. She knows what this means.