since the house admitted to me last night before I went to bed that she did know of this issue from the past, but didn’t have a solution for me to fix it. She said she’d help Edgar in any way she could, but she didn’t have a recipe for a counter-spell. Talking that out was probably necessary, since information had to exist somewhere, or how did Elliot Graves know?
But at this particular moment in time? I just couldn’t be bothered. I was too exhausted.
“Mr. Tom, can you make me a snack or something?” I asked. “I’m going into my private sitting room.”
It hadn’t started out as a private sitting room, but it was small, in a seldom-traversed back corner of the house, and everyone left me alone when I used it. Within the last couple months, I’d started calling it what it had become.
“Of course, miss. I’ll be in directly. Would you like a snack for one, or…” He looked between Austin and me.
I wanted Austin’s company, if only because he had some immensely broad shoulders to lean on, as Agnes had clearly noticed, but I did not feel like putting myself out there to ask. Fatigue and frustration had a way of bringing out my vulnerability. I didn’t think leaders let their subordinates (the new gargoyles) see them cry on the cusp of battle, especially when it was over something as trivial as a guy not accepting an invite to join them for a sit and a think.
I shrugged and didn’t comment, starting off down the hall, my mind spinning.
“For three,” Austin said. “I’m hungry.”
My eyes teared up in relief. I was a mess right now. I needed sleep.
When I stepped into the sitting room, the comforting smell of books greeted me, the small bookcase at my back holding my favorite volumes and a bunch of books on my to-be-read list. The actual house library was a great place to read, but it didn’t offer the sense of comfort and seclusion this space did. I sighed as I sank into my favorite chair, the sun filtering in through the open window shades doing little to lighten my spirits.
Austin closed the door behind him before lowering into the chair opposite me. He propped his feet on the ottoman, crossed his ankles, and then entwined his fingers on his lap. His gaze drifted out the window to match mine, but he let the silence linger.
“Thanks,” I said softly, watching the leaves wiggle on a large oak. “I wanted quiet, but didn’t really want to be alone.”
“Understandable. Dealing with this situation is a lot, especially with your parents already here.
I filled my lungs to bursting and then let the breath out slowly, feeling my muscles relax a little with the exhale. Not enough, though.
“I’m just…” My eyes teared up again. “I’m freaking tired, Austin.” A tear escaped, and I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand. “I’m tired of this crap. If Elliot wants a piece of me, why doesn’t he just show up and meet me face to face? Or attack the house or something? I hate all this stealth and secrecy. It’s exhausting. I still don’t even know how to work most of my magic. I am absolutely zero threat to someone like that, and whatever the proprietor of this house might’ve been to the magical world back in the day, it’s not like that anymore. I’m a nobody with a weird, half-formed crew, no clue about politics, and no desire to do anything but hang out in this town and live in peace. Why doesn’t he just go away? I can’t help him. In fact, you know what? I’m going to write him a letter to tell him exactly that. Quit bothering me—I cannot help you.”
More tears dripped down, and I batted them away furiously, annoyed that I was breaking down. Frustrated that I felt so helpless.
“The one thing I had going for me was Ivy House’s protective magic,” I continued, sobs threatening, “and now Graves—or someone—has found a way around it. And maybe I could work the defenses myself and do okay, but against two groups? Or even one spread-out group? I have to see the enemy to use the defenses, and if there are too many, I won’t be able to. No matter how vigilant you and the others are, you can’t be here all the time. I’m wide open. Now that he knows he can get someone onto my land without anyone noticing,