Magical Midlife Invasion (Leveling Up #3) - K.F. Breene Page 0,13

I don’t need them to see a big house. Look! It’s not even nighttime, but the window up there is glowing.”

“Listen to that, will ya, Austin? She fancies herself Stephen King now.” My dad shook his head as he made it to the porch. “Next she’ll say she sees a bat.”

Mr. Tom waited by the front door, his tuxedo as freshly pressed as ever and his posture straight and tall.

“Where do you want these?” Austin asked him.

“What…are those?” Mr. Tom asked. “They are visiting…with coolers? Like some sort of tailgaters?”

“Who’s this?” My dad half turned to me. “What’s he wearing, a tux with a cape? Is this one of those superhero convention things where everyone dresses up like a superhero? Is he some sort of James Bond with a Superman fetish or something? I didn’t bring a cape. I don’t even own a cape.”

“He’s the butler, Dad. He came with the house. Head to the kitchen, Austin.” I jerked my head to get him going. “Yes, Mr. Tom, they came with coolers. They get worried I won’t have the things they want, so they bring them. I thought maybe they’d trust me now, since I am no longer twenty, but here we are.”

“That’s your mother. I try to tell her, but she just won’t listen.” My dad set the cooler down just inside the door, opened the lid with a loud creaking noise, pushed aside a head of lettuce, and grabbed a can of beer. He held it out to me. “Wanna beer?”

Apparently we would not be waiting to get everything sorted in the kitchen.

“I would.” Niamh lifted her hand as she came up the walk, leaving my mother behind to continue rooting through the car. Lord knew what she was looking for, or why she didn’t just take everything out so the rest of us could help carry it in. “I’ll take one of them, if ye please.” Niamh stopped in front of my dad. “How’re ya? How’s it goin’? I’m Niamh from across the street.”

He passed over the can of beer before reaching down to grab another. He squinted at her. “Are you Irish?”

“Guilty. Leave that there,” she said as Dad started to mess with the cooler. “Come inside and sit down. Earl can handle all that.” She said it with the authority of one who lived there, an authority she deserved given she sat on the Ivy House council, but my parents didn’t know that. Still, my dad went with her willingly enough, muttering about her excellent aim and “punk kids.” Thank God she knew where I’d set up his TV lounge.

“A butler?” My mother finally caught up, rolling one suitcase and carrying another. “The house came with a butler? What sort of house comes with a butler?”

“It’s just…he had the job of caretaker, and when I bought the house, I didn’t want to turn him out.” I took the suitcase she held.

“Kinda weird with the cape, though,” she murmured as we finally crossed the threshold. “Does he always wear that, or is he trying to impress us somehow? Though I don’t know who would be impressed with a cape…”

“It’s…a long story. Go and sit down. Do you want—”

“Oh no, no, I’ll just see to the things I brought. I made deviled eggs. And clam dip. I figured that since you couldn’t make it down for Christmas—”

“I know, yeah. You said. Seriously, Mom, relax for a minute. It was a long drive. Do you want a beer? I’ll help Mr. Tom get things organized.”

She paused, looking up at the bloody scene Ivy House had left on the wood carving area in the foyer. While only I could see the carvings move, anyone could gawk at the still images.

Great. I’d hoped the house would change the scene before they came in.

“My goodness, that is horrific. Just what sort of place is this, Jacinta?” my mom asked.

She had no idea.

“Just…here.” I went back to the other cooler and grabbed out a beer. “Here. Go check on Dad. Niamh can be colorful.”

“Well, we need a tour, don’t we?”

“We…will,” I said, leading the way to the lounge. “We’ll get to that. Go check on Dad. The TV and cable box are new—I’m not sure if he’ll be happy with the setup.”

“Oh, he’s fine.” But she went in anyway.

I met Mr. Tom in the kitchen, standing over the cooler Austin had taken in, staring down at it like it was a dangerous bug with too many eyes. Austin had the same look.

“It’s

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