“Can you get it?” Austin turned and showed me his blood-slicked back, the wound newly closed and the edges already starting to crust. The top of his muscular butt was smeared red from where blood had soaked into his sweats.
“Why on earth does Mr. Tom insist on white sweats?” I asked, turning on the water. Austin didn’t react to the frigid air or the cold liquid washing down over his defined back. He turned into a polar bear—ice was kind of his thing; it was intense heat he probably disliked.
“There is one thing I would like to apologize for, Jess,” he said, his voice sending shivers racing across my skin. “You’re right—you’re your own woman. A smart woman, at that. I need to trust that you know what you’re capable of.”
“When you’re not flying off the handle because of a few bruises, you mean?”
He let out a slow breath. “I’m not sure I can control my reaction to seeing you…like this, especially knowing who’s doing it. We won’t ever get along, him and I. It will never be peaceful between us, not until one of us submits to the other.”
His voice turned harsh, a growl riding his words. He’d die before he’d submit, that much was clear. I knew without needing to ask that Damarion was the same way.
I struggled to control a sudden surge of emotion. The writing on the wall was entirely too clear. They could not coexist. This town was too small, and this house smaller still. If they’d flipped out this much just at the sight of each other, they’d end up rumbling one way or another. If I kept interceding, eventually they’d figure out how to get at each other when I wasn’t around. It was only a matter of time.
I swallowed down a lump in my throat. I could not bear to see Austin leave. He’d been my first real friend in my new life. My first normal friend, at any rate. I’d come to depend on him, as much for his easy conversation and comforting presence as for his ability to keep the magical world from completely going off the rails. I’d almost died, for heaven’s sake, and someone wanted to kidnap me. Those things should’ve given me nightmares, but they hadn’t—because I knew Austin was watching the property. Because I trusted that he’d keep this town, with me in it, safe.
But I also trusted Damarion. He’d saved my life, and I needed him for training. Ivy House had given him the ability to draw out my magic, and without him, I’d be back learning at a snail’s pace. With mages sniffing around, I didn’t think I had that kind of time.
And yet…I couldn’t help but wonder why Ivy House had chosen Damarion as my trainer over Austin. It wasn’t the wings, because Ulric or any of the other guys could’ve helped with the flying thing, no alpha required. They weren’t as strong or powerful in that department, but I wouldn’t be either. They were probably more my speed than the breakneck diving and rolling that Damarion did.
I knew why, though, didn’t I? Austin didn’t want to be a part of all this. He didn’t want to answer to anyone, especially Ivy House’s magic. He wasn’t a sure bet, and so Ivy House couldn’t trust him. It had chosen the next best option.
I trusted him, though. Even though he hadn’t taken a seat in that Council Room, he still checked in. He still helped. I had but to ask, and he’d see me through all of this.
“About that…” I said, turning off the water.
“Do you mind if I air-dry?”
“Do you mind if I accidentally look?” I laughed, picking up his sweats and handing them over.
His eyes were steady on mine, and I quickly looked away. I really needed to get over this embarrassment. It was getting downright ridiculous. I’d seen plenty of naked men. I’d raised a boy, for God’s sake.
False equivalence, I thought.
Boy, wasn’t that the truth.
“Just kidding,” I said, staring forward. “I won’t look.”
“No, I don’t mind,” he said quietly.
“Where does that leave us?” I asked. “I mean, with Damarion, not with your very appropriate confidence in your body.”
He didn’t answer for a moment as we crossed the lush green grass, the garden as lush as ever despite the chill air and dusting of snow.
“I don’t know, Jess.” I could hear the regret in his voice. I could hear the resolve.