Mafia's Final Play (Mafia's Obsession #3) - Summer Cooper Page 0,27

the kind of coat he’d wear at any other time in his life, she knew, but it suited him, she thought. The black knit cap on his head did things to her too, to her insides that were always on alert around him.

The black cap made his eyes stand out to her in ways that just made her feel… squishy. Like her insides had turned to mush and if she looked at him too long, she’d forget words. All of them. She turned away from the window now and went to prepare the vegetables she’d use in the pot roast. She’d found a recipe she wanted to try and wanted to make sure she had everything before Anton came back. She’d call him from the house phone if she needed something.

She reached to take carrots out of the crisper drawer in the fridge and moaned as her entire arm started to shake. The moan was from fright, anger, and frustration - all three mixed into panic. She’d have to tell him soon, mainly because she needed to go to the doctor. Maybe it was nerve damage, something from the attack, or some psychological problem. It might not be the one thing she dreaded the most - her mother’s illness.

As she glanced back at the window to make sure Matteo couldn’t see her, she felt the tremor become stronger, until she couldn’t even control the limb. Fuck.

“Fuck,” she screamed quietly. “Please, stop. Just… stop.”

Fear gripped her throat then, filled it with a lump that she couldn’t breathe past, then the world started to go fuzzy and she saw sparkles. She knew it was panic, that she was about to faint, so she moved back to the island to slide down to the floor. “Breathe, just breathe.”

That’s what the counselor told her during one of their sessions. Whenever you have a problem, whenever you feel overwhelmed, he’d said, “Just breathe, Marie. That’s all you have to do is breathe.” She clutched at the necklace that rested on her chest and focused on it. Matteo had said it was his promise to her, to always protect her. But he couldn’t protect her from the disease she was almost certain she was developing, nobody could.

Would he want her if she turned out like her mother? She doubted she’d ever be as bitter and twisted as her mother, but her body would twist, it would become something she couldn’t control. Would he want a wife like that? Would it be fair to burden him with that? He had enough troubles.

She took one more deep breath and looked down at her hand. The tremor had slowed down, calmed enough that she could flex her fingers. You can do this, Marie. That was the mantra she repeated in her mind. With a wince, she got up and went back to the fridge. Just breathe.

She pulled out the vegetables she’d need, found the herbs and spices, and started to cut up the vegetables. She went slowly, to make sure the very sharp knife was away from her fingers when she made each cut. She closed her eyes each time she made a cut and opened them once the blade hit the cutting board. Each new cut brought a sigh of relief.

The need to distract her mind became overwhelming, so she went to a small radio on the counter and turned it on. Rock music filled the air, some station that only played 80s rock, so she sang along with Stevie Nicks and Bob Segar as she prepared the onions and started to caramelize them.

Matteo came in to have a cup of coffee about the time she took the onions off and put them in a bowl to use later. “Hi, babe. How ya doing?”

“I’m fine, honey.” She pecked his cheek as he passed her and then put the rest of the vegetables in containers to put in the fridge. She’d peeled potatoes and sliced them, along with celery and carrots. Now all she needed was the meat. She’d sear it with some red wine and put that all together in the slow cooker when Anton came back.

With a sigh of relief, she poured a cup of coffee for herself and went to sit with Matteo at the table. “Want some lunch?”

“I’ll just have a sandwich in a little while.” He glanced at the clock and frowned. “Anton will be home soon.”

“Yeah. Why is that a bad thing?”

“Because I was watching you as you put all of that away,