Mad Max - Sapphire Knight Page 0,60

to our wedding and since we’ve been married. I can’t believe this happened. Did he seriously believe I would never find out, or not be heartbroken from it?

“I really appreciate this, Giovanna,” I repeat for the hundredth time tonight. I’d taken off from the apartment and called her, unsure of what else to do. She welcomed me into their small place with open arms and a warm blanket, because of course it had to start downpouring in the middle of everything. I shouldn’t be surprised; my nonna always said when it rains, it pours. In this case, literally. I was soaked, as well as my mind a complete wreck.

“Of course. You’re always welcome here, always have been. Are you ready to tell me what happened? You sounded so frantic on the phone when you asked to come stay the night, you were scaring me.”

“My parents are gone. Nonna too. Murdered,” I whisper the first thing that comes to mind, leaving out anything that has to do with Max or Dante Vendetti. I’m not ready to delve deep enough into that yet. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be. My eyes water as the stab of pain spears my chest all over again at my new reality. I hadn’t fully processed what this means. It’s been hitting me in small bursts, shredding me to pieces.

“No!” she sobs, her eyes filling with tears that quickly spill over. She pulls me to her and holds me tightly while I weep for the people I love—that I’ll never see again. My chest feels so hollow inside, like an important piece of me is now missing.

“It all feels so final,” I admit with a hiccup. “My life will never be the same. I’ll never hug my father, nor have my mama fuss over me, even though I’m a grown woman. I’ll never make homemade raviolis with Nonna for Christmas Eve-eve, or any of it. I miss them already and they’re barely gone. How will I survive this? How can this even be real?”

“I’m so sorry, Ismerlda,” Gi whispers into my hair, still holding me. She really is the best friend and cousin to me. “This is unfair. You don’t deserve any of it one bit. I want you to listen to me, without getting angry if possible. Will you?”

“Hm?” I mutter, soaking up every ounce of comfort she’s offering in the moment. It’s not my father’s hug, but at least I have someone to hold me, who I know genuinely cares.

“God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle. Pray to Him. Your burden is terrible and heartbreaking because you’re strong. You’re the most fearless, independent, intelligent woman I know. None of this may make any sense right now, but in the long run, God will show you why this happened to you.”

“I hate Him right now. My family didn’t deserve this.”

“You must have faith. You’re famiglia is no longer here, but they’re in a better place in Heaven, forever watching over you.” She squeezes me extra tight. “You have the best guardian angels you ever could’ve been given. Believe in yourself, in your strength, like I do, and He will not lead you astray. You have me. I’m here anytime you need to lean on me.”

I pull back, wiping my tearstained face. “Thank you. I needed to hear that, and somehow you knew it. I’m heartbroken with grief, and I know it won’t be an easy road, but I’ll take one day at a time and I’ll survive. My parents wouldn’t want it any other way.”

She nods, wiping her face as well. We’re both red-faced, swollen, and sad. “I’ll make you some hot tea. It’ll help.” She moves to get up and I grab her wrist, stopping her.

“No. No tea.”

“Okay, no tea.” She walks me to their spare room and lies beside me in bed. I hold her hand and cry for the family I’ve lost, for my broken heart.

No matter how hard I fight it, some of those tears belong to Max as well.

I’ve been at Giovanna’s for two weeks now and yet, I still feel a deep pang of sorrow in my gut. It’s still far too intense for me to go to my parents’ home. I should be there, but I’m not ready to step foot inside my childhood home and be accosted with all the memories their missing presence will surely bring me. Will this painful effect ever go away or at least become bearable? It’s almost time for me to