Luscious - Lexi Blake Page 0,1

he thought he should have let them take him. A bullet to the brain might have been the easier way out than this slow, pathetic march.

The sound of the door scraping open brought Macon out of his thoughts, and his heart rate tripled. He looked around the room. Where the fuck was his leg? No. Screw the leg. He needed his gun. Where had that gone?

And where was his damn death wish when he needed it?

“Macon? Don’t shoot me.”

Macon stilled. He hadn’t heard that voice in years. No. He couldn’t do it. The last thing he needed was this. He was freaking dreaming and his brother was going to make him feel like shit. Not the oldest one. Not the one who had run out with Macon’s wife. No. This was worse. The voice he heard was Adam, the brother he’d wronged himself. The last person in the world he wanted to see was Adam because Adam was the only one he couldn’t hate.

He often wondered if his mother had stayed alive, would she have allowed things to go so wrong? Did she look down and weep because her family was so very broken?

“Hey.”

He opened his eyes and was suddenly really sure this wasn’t a dream. His brother was standing in front of him, dressed like some fucking movie star and looking years younger than Macon felt. “How did you get in? You should leave.”

Adam grinned as though he hadn’t expected less. “You have serious issues with security, little brother. I picked that lock in no time flat. This place is a one-star roach motel. I don’t even think most roaches would stay here.”

He was wrong about that. Macon had to beat the disgusting fuckers back constantly. Adam. God. His brother was standing right in front of him and Macon had to wonder if he hadn’t come for revenge. Had he come to see how far his brother had fallen?

Did it matter? His first instinct had been to tell him to fuck off, but now that he was standing right here, he kind of wanted to beg him to stay. He and Adam had been closest in age. Alan hadn’t had time for little brothers, but Adam had always been patient and gentle with him. Even when it pissed off their dad because brothers were supposed to fight for position, not treat each other like pussies who couldn’t handle a punch.

Fuck it all. He didn’t want to fight anymore. Every minute of every day seemed like a fight and now Adam was here and Macon was five again. He wanted his brother to make things better.

He’d lost that right.

Adam sighed as he took in the room. “This is significantly worse than your dorm room. And what is that smell?”

It could be anything. He’d gone nose blind two weeks into his new life. He’d gone from hospitals and their antiseptic smells to this place.

He tried to straighten up. God, he wished he’d brushed his teeth. His mouth still tasted like cheap whiskey. He might have one shot at this. He’d nearly died and the one regret he had was never telling Adam how he felt. Adam might have come here for revenge and Macon would give it to him. He deserved it. Macon had been a shit and anything Adam wanted to dole out would be nothing compared to the hate he felt for himself. But he owed Adam one thing, and now that he was standing right here, Macon was determined to pay up.

“I’m sorry, Adam. You should know I think every single day about what I did to you.” His brother was into alternative lifestyles, to say the least. When he’d gotten kicked out of the Army for breaking Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Macon had been pressured into shunning him. He hadn’t, not all the way, but he also hadn’t fought for his brother. He hadn’t stood up for Adam the way Adam would have stood up for him. “I tried…no, I didn’t try hard enough. I should have walked away. I should have told them to fuck themselves. You and Jake are a really great couple. You should be allowed to be happy.”

Adam groaned and looked around, seeming to try to find a clean place to sit. He remained standing. “Dude, we’re not lovers. I’m straight. Jake’s straight. I’ve never once touched that man’s junk and I never will. We share.”

“Share? Like love and stuff?” It didn’t compute.

A long sigh came from his brother’s mouth and Macon was