Lulu's Recipe for Cajun Sass - Sandra Hill Page 0,52
can discuss this face to face.”
“No. Absolutely not.” He could hear her take a deep breath before adding, “Justin, I’m not angry with you. Just disappointed. I had built up in my mind this foolish fantasy of you and I being married, partners in a unique medicine/healing arts office, probably in Dr. Clovis’s mansion. Talk about! That’s why I took your news so hard. But that doesn’t mean I wish bad things for you. Concentrate on studying for your exams. After you pass them, as I’m sure you will, we can talk again.”
“But—”
“It’s the best way. We both need time to think. It’s only another week.”
He was afraid that, if he didn’t resolve this now, her feelings toward him would be cemented. Too much thinking wouldn’t help his case, he was sure.
“Look, Justin. Your tests are on September tenth and eleventh. Come see me after that. But don’t contact me before that. I mean it, Justin. No phone calls, no visits, no letters. Nothing.”
“All right. The train takes two days. So, I’ll be back here on September fourteenth then,” he said. “Okay?”
“Okay. Best wishes on your tests. I’ll say a prayer for you.”
Her words sounded so calm and positive, but Justin wasn’t fooled. “I love you, Louise,” he said again.
She didn’t respond. In fact, he heard the click of the phone, then a dial tone.
Chapter 10
I’ll walk alone…
Louise went about her business for the next week with a heavy heart, but she was getting by.
This was unlike the time after Phillipe’s death, the period when she’d suffered from what she called her Big Grief, when she’d been reduced to a zombie-like depression, combined with a period of wild, boozy, promiscuous behavior, until she’d learned of her pregnancy. Her mother had come to her aid then.
Ahem, the voice in her head said.
My mother and St. Jude, she corrected.
Thank you very much.
Did this mean that she didn’t love Justin?
No, she definitely loved him.
As much as she’d loved Phillipe?
No.
Yes.
She couldn’t decide.
Maybe it was just a different kind of love.
So, Louise went out onto the bayou to gather her herbs, and thought about Justin. And her heart hurt so bad....
Could I really live anywhere other than the bayou?
Maybe a day or two. Even a week. But more than that…I don’t think I could breathe.
She took care of Adèle and listened to incessant questions about Justin. And her heart hurt so bad....
Tante Lulu, when will Justin come back?
Tante Lulu, is Justin mad at us?
Tante Lulu, why cain’t we call Justin on the telephone?
Tante Lulu, could Justin mebbe be my daddy some day?
When she took her vegetables and fig jams into Boudreaux’s to sell, she fielded questions from Justin’s mother. And her heart hurt so bad....
Mrs. Boudreaux was being extra pleasant to her because she thought Louise might be in contact with her son or maybe because she pictured Louise as a future daughter-in-law. Louise was wary of Mrs. Boudreaux, ever since Justin had mentioned his mother’s gossip about Adèle’s family.
Have you heard from Justin?
Doan you look pretty in that straw hat.
Come, sit a spell so we kin talk.
Is that a new blouse? Very chic.
How’s that niece of yours?
When she lay in bed at night, she couldn’t help but replay in her head all the lovemaking that had taken place there. And it hurt so bad....
His kisses…oh, he is such a good kisser....
The way he smiles when he hears me moan....
The gasp he makes when I touch him there....
How I feel when he first enters me....
The bliss of being held afterward....
Louise didn’t need a calendar to know that time was ticking down, and before she knew it, it was the evening of September 13. Justin would be here tomorrow. And still she worried over certain essential issues. Whether or not she loved Justin was not in question; that was a given.
Could she live up north for a short period of time, let alone years?
Would Adèle suffer in such a confined space, in a poor neighborhood?
Could she sell her family cottage if it became necessary for them to afford a bigger apartment in Chicago, or to get Justin back here?
Did love overcome all these questions?
She thought and she thought and she thought. And her heart hurt so bad....
I’ll never smile again.… On the other hand…
Justin had taken his medical boards and was fairly certain he’d not only passed, but did so with flying colors, no thanks to Louise and his mind-numbing worries over what would happen with her. On the other hand, she’d said she would pray