Lullaby - Leila Slimani Page 0,15

in the kitchen, sitting on the countertop. At three in the morning, the guests say they’re starving and the beautiful blonde makes a mushroom omelette that they eat bent over the frying pan, their forks clinking.

When they go home, about 4 a.m., Louise is dozing on the sofa, her legs folded up under her chest, hands joined together. Paul delicately spreads a blanket over her. ‘Don’t wake her up. She looks so peaceful.’ And Louise starts sleeping there, once or twice a week. It’s never clearly stated – they don’t talk about it – but Louise patiently builds her nest in the middle of the apartment.

*

At times, Paul worries about the nanny’s long hours. ‘I don’t want her to accuse us of exploiting her one day.’ Myriam promises to take control of the situation. Naturally so rigid, so strict, she blames herself for having let things slide. She is going to talk to Louise, get everything out in the open. She is at once embarrassed and secretly thrilled that Louise takes it upon herself to do so much housework, that she accomplishes what she’s never been asked to do. Myriam is constantly apologising. When she gets home late, she says: ‘I’m sorry for abusing your kindness.’ And Louise always replies: ‘That’s what I’m here for. Don’t worry about it.’

Myriam often gives her presents. Earrings that she buys in a discount boutique near the metro station. An orange cake, the only sweet treat that Louise seems to like. She gives the nanny clothes that she doesn’t wear any more, even though for a long time she thought there was something humiliating about that practice. Myriam does everything she can to avoid wounding Louise, to avoid making her jealous or upset. When she goes shopping, for herself or for her children, she hides the new clothes in an old cloth bag and only opens them once Louise has gone. Paul congratulates her on being so tactful.

Everyone in Paul and Myriam’s inner circle ends up knowing about Louise. Some of them have seen her in the neighbourhood or in the apartment. Others have only heard about the feats of this legendary nanny, who seems to have sprung straight from the pages of a children’s book.

‘Louise’s dinners’ become a tradition, an unmissable experience for all the couple’s friends. Louise is aware of each person’s tastes. She knows that Emma shrewdly conceals her anorexia behind a vegetarian ideology. That Patrick, Paul’s brother, is a connoisseur of meat and mushrooms. The dinners generally take place on Friday evenings. Louise spends all afternoon cooking while the children play at her feet. She tidies the apartment, makes a bouquet of flowers and sets the table so it looks pretty. She goes all across Paris to buy a few yards of material, which she uses to hand-stitch a tablecloth. When the places have been set, the sauce reduced and the wine decanted, she slips out of the apartment. Sometimes she bumps into some of the guests in the building’s lobby or near the metro station. She replies shyly to their congratulations and their knowing smiles, to the way they pat their stomachs and lick their lips.

One night Paul insists that she stays. This is no ordinary day. ‘We have so many things to celebrate!’ Pascal has given Myriam a very big case, which she is well on her way to winning thanks to an astute, aggressive defence. Paul is also very happy. One week ago, he was in the studio, working on his own music, when a well-known singer came into the producer’s booth. They talked for hours, about their shared tastes, the arrangements they imagined for the songs, the incredible material they could get their hands on, and in the end the singer asked Paul to produce his next album. ‘There are years like that, where everything goes perfectly. You have to know how to enjoy it,’ Paul declares. He grabs Louise by the shoulders and smiles at her. ‘Whether you like it or not, tonight you are eating dinner with us.’

Louise takes refuge in the children’s bedroom. She spends a long time lying next to Mila, caressing her temples and her hair. In the blue glow of the nightlight, she observes Adam’s face, surrendered to sleep. She can’t make up her mind to leave the room. She hears the front door open and laughter in the corridor. A bottle of champagne is popped open, a chair is pushed against the wall. In the bathroom, Louise reties her