I grimace. That’s what I should be doing for May right now. What I should have done the other night. Not even as a person who’s sort of dating her. Just as a friend. I should never have let her get out of my car without making sure that she was okay. That, at the very least, her parents were home. That she wasn’t alone.
I catch sight of Lucy’s head of brown curls on the opposite end of the hallway, moving away from me, and I run to catch up. She’s chatting with a girl I recognize from Conor’s show, the one May introduced me to at the bar.
“Lucy!” I’m out of breath. “Wait up.”
She glances over her shoulder and sees me. I must look like a total mess, because she raises her eyebrows and stops. The other girl stops too. They appraise me, arms crossed, eyebrows arched. It’s very intimidating. I have to force myself to speak.
I clear my throat. “Hey.” I can’t read their faces. “I’m trying to find May?”
The girls glance at each other.
Lucy speaks. “Have you talked to her today?”
I swallow and shake my head. “Sunday was the last time I heard from her?” It comes out like a question.
Her eyes widen. She shoots another glance at her friend.
The friend speaks. “Hey. Zach, right?” She sticks her hand out, all formal, which is weird, but I shake it because I am nothing if not unfailingly polite. “I’m Chim. We met at Lucy’s show the other week. You haven’t heard from May?”
“Not since a few days ago. Do you guys know where I can find her?”
There’s a pause, and the girls silently communicate.
Lucy says, “I haven’t talked to her since last Friday. We sort of…had a little bit of an argument. I was trying to give her some space to cool off. Have you seen her at school?”
“No. She wasn’t in drama yesterday. She won’t answer my calls.” I’m getting actually, for-real worried now.
“But you saw her on Sunday?”
I nod, and am about to tell them what we did, but realize how fucked-up it sounds. “Yeah, we hung out. I haven’t heard from her since I dropped her off.”
Lucy narrows her eyes. “What did you guys do?”
“Do?” My voice squeaks.
“Yeah. On Sunday. What did you guys do?”
“Nothing much.”
She closes her eyes for a second, looking pained. When she opens them, she says, “Let’s cut the bullshit, okay? You saw the letters.”
My mouth falls open, but I pull it shut and try to compose myself. How does she know?
She sighs. “Look, Zach. The fight May and I got in? It was over those letters. She showed them to me, and I kind of freaked. I feel bad about it, but it’s also really messed up that she’s been hiding them for this long….” She shakes her head. “Whatever. That’s irrelevant. She called you after I left, didn’t she?”
I flush. “How do you know?”
“Look, I don’t mean this to sound insulting, but she doesn’t have very many people to talk to these days, especially people she trusts.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Chim bite her lower lip.
I make a decision. “Yeah. Fine. She did.” I’m getting defensive, but Lucy’s acting like I was May’s second choice, and it rubs me the wrong way.
“What happened after she showed them to you?”
My nostrils flare. “Nothing.” Lucy’s glare makes my hair stand on end. “Okay. God. She said that she needed to know what her brother had said—that she needed his last words—so…so”—I lick my lips, summoning the courage to say the words—“I went with her to the jail.”
Lucy’s eyes widen. “Excuse me, what? You did what?” She starts hitting me with her books and I duck, trying to protect myself with my arms. “You went with May to prison? To see that fucking freak? Are you deranged? Are you a total moron? Why